always and forever is forever young
your shadow on the pavement, the dark side of the sun
Tristan's question gave Mallos cause to hesitate. Certainty, would have been his honest answer. Certainty of reality. Certainty of immortality. A clear understanding of where he was, and confidence in the knowledge that it couldn't kill him.

Images flashed through his mind, but fortunately none of them formed the alternative realities he was so used to being plunged into these days. Some of the more common realities were nothing but memories, now – the room of pillars, the deserts of the black land, the tribe by the river, and... worst of all, the dark place. Mostly, he alternated between his four walls in the castle and the dark place. When he first awoke from the coma, Mallos not only couldn't tell which reality was the right one, he also didn't know which one he wanted to be the right one. Both had plausible theories. Either he was in the dark place, and he dreamed or vividly imagined he was on Shaman; or he really did live in the castle infirmary, where he was gripped by insanity and experiencing disorienting flashbacks of his life. In both worlds he had lost his freedom. Was it a more terrifying prospect that he'd also lost his mind, or light and company? Would he rather be in bedlam or prison?

Most days, Mallos found relief and comfort in the social interactions he was allowed within the castle. He would just begin to think that perhaps the state of mental instability was preferable if it meant he was around people he cared about – when an episode would happen, and he would come out of it and have to face the humiliation which only came with the presence of people. They weren't always good to have around.

Instinctively, without thinking, he copied Tristan and untied the horse's reins, sparing it none of the affection or greeting Tristan had his. His expression was unchanged, and the hesitation hadn't been long – easy enough to interpret as a moment's pause to think. “Travelling,” he replied simply, which wasn't entirely a lie. Being denied the freedom to move beyond the infirmary was one of the biggest frustrations with this reality.

The horse, a handsome dun gelding, was obviously from the royal stables: the royal insignia was marked on his breast collar, which also contained his name, Ambassador. Nice to know Tristan hadn't lost his sense of humour while his grandfather was out cold. Briefly wondering whether he'd still have the ability to ride without divinity, Mallos followed Tristan's lead and led Ambassador out onto the path. He vaulted onto the horse's back without touching the stirrups, took up the reins and expertly steered the horse into a figure of eight. No magic? No problem.

They went slightly off the beaten track as they rode through the woods, just in case Arthur had sent the royal guards out to search for his son. A touch of tension remained until they finally broke free of the tree line, where Mallos wasted no time in spurring Ambassador on into a full gallop. It had been too long since he'd been outside, and even longer since he'd travelled at any speed. The last time he'd gone this fast... a vivid memory of a deafening roar at his back and the wind whipping through his hair as he soared over the ocean flooded into his mind – so vivid that for a second he thought he was switching realities. He pulled up the reins sharply and the memory, just a memory, faded. As he pulled the horse back into a trot, Mallos made a point of glancing at the dogs as if he'd slowed down for their sake.

The air was warmer this side of the forest, and the long grass a prickly brown. Off to the right led to another forested area which Mallos knew would take them to Augury Vale if they followed it, but to the left... unexplored territory. Technically one needed a permit from the king to go exploring beyond the known lands, but Mallos was feeling a bit anti-Arthur at the moment.

“So,” he said casually as he glanced across at his grandson with a little smile. “Have you got a girlfriend yet?”

i can feel you in the silence saying, “let forever be,
love, and only love, will set you free.”