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There was a time in life when I used to hold myself high with pride because I knew the damage I could do if anyone dared to get in my way. Now I fear that damage cause I can't control it and who I take it out on and so I guard myself from others. I hold myself like a wolf withdrawn into himself as a shield for others, a way to protect them from my wrath. Of course I could expect nothing less from the bloodlines of devils an angels. She has something to be proud of and a grand future to look forward to. I have seen my future and there is only darkness. Her smile does not give me hope. It is one I recognize for Heyel himself used to wear such a sly mask all the time. I have not seen the end of this, it would seem. She makes a sound that has my own head tilting, brows lifting in puzzlement as my ears flicker back and forth. She rbings up the memory of what I did in Diveen adn I cringe inwardly before stepping forward, eyes darkening a little. "You call your grandfather a liar? You would like to see a re-enactment of what went on that day?" The words practically croon from my lips, a threatening purr before I scoff in my throat and turn my head away. "Well too bad. I don't feel like giving you a damn demonstration." She seems excited, too excited, for such a thing. My fur ripples at the oddity of it. Then I turn my gaze back to her when she speaks again. Aura? What, is she like Yojimbo and Andromeda and such that see more than the eye can see? Her words saw at my guilt, drawing it forward like an oozing wound. I did that to Calliel. I brought such shame upon her and now it's my fault that everyone sees her as less than what she is. He questions draw the darkness back to my eyes. "Chaos. That's what's in my mind, little puppet, nothing but chaos." I clench my jaw, wishing to get away from her before she draws on the already loose fabric that keeps my mind clear. I take a step back, my tail flicking in growing irritation. "I did it out of grief. My mind was shattered that day but it's something you will hopefully know nothing of. When an imprint is torn out of this world, it makes you less than what you are, it makes you a wreck." I'm explaining like I want her to understand but I don't, not really. I don't even want to be telling her this becuase it only brings up more bad memories and I don't want them. I already see them every night in my dreams. I watch as she brings her paw down to crunch the snow before she steps forward, biting down on her lip and my hackles flick up in warning. As she pounces, I turn to keep up with her, my tail flicking behind me in growing agitation now as my ears flatten back. My lip twitches, showing a sliver of fang before I cover it once more. What am I thinking? I will not harm another innocent, I refuse. Why doesn't she just go away? DMC_male_twenty years_no mate_imprinted on |