I feel absolutely miserable. I’m supposed to be feeling well right now. I’m supposed to be feeling happiness now that I have climbed my way to the top. I am far away from Servitor, I had built and established my reputation far from my Father’s shadow. No one can look at me with shame any longer. I may not be a full-fledged Demon by blood, but Andras claimed me as one of his own. He is a Demon and his word is law, even if he is not the current Alpha, he still has that authority. I am ashamed with my previous actions and my inability to move properly. I was given this position and I didn’t want anything to take it away from me. I am worried and so very concerned that my health might take away my moment. All that hard work and not I’m falling ill. I crane my head upwards and wince and quickly tilt my head back down, the pain far too much to lift, and so my violet eyes looking upwards at her.

“Thank you ma’am. All I’ve ever wanted to do was serve and do what was best for the pack.”

Truly that is all I ever wanted to do. I just wanted to serve, but not in the same way as my Father did for this pack. My soul was sold here and if I am to stay here forever then I might as well do something of myself. While I sit I cannot help, but sway left and right slightly from the dizziness. One ear twitches left and right as my violet eyes blink. I can hear her tone of authority mixed in with concern. This is an odd voice to hear. I know this is something I should hear from a motherly figured, but I’ve never heard a voice like this before. I am not sure how I am supposed to react. I cannot lie to her. I cannot be dishonest. I think back about the Fields, the dead bull elk lying in the water, and the mysterious white wolf that had been very kind to me. Warily I crane my head up as much as I can manage as my hoarse voice trickles out slowly.

“A few weeks ma’am, since the beginning of winter. My muscles and joints are sore, my vision blurry and it makes me dizzy. I haven’t been wanting to eat a lot too. Why is this happening to me? I want to be here when the others come…I need to be at your side.”

I did it. I did everything. Those envoys, they will be coming because of me, and I must be at her side. It is my role, it is my position. I must be there. I have to be. I need to get better. I am aware that we have one individual wanting to be a medic of sorts and I just hope Aithne calls for her. I lean my form into the cool side of the rock, my eyes closing as I weakly lower my head. I can feel panic and worry overwhelm me at the idea that I could lose this position and mixed that with sickness is just a lethal combination.