something like sick delight pulled at her gut as she watched romulus’ beautiful face pull such a look. she’s proud of herself as she takes in his stiffened muscles and flattened ears. despite the twisted delight and pride, she’s left with a bitter taste on her tongue. they’d never been close, despite the betrothal and being in the same pack their entire lives, but now the distance between them was like as vast as any ocean. her heart was pounding, and she wished she could tell it to stop. he didn’t deserve this reaction from her. he didn’t deserve her, period. her heart told her head that it was lying. her head told her heart to shut up.

his voice sends a tremor across her skin and she’s glad he can’t see it. she’s not going to be weak to him again. she’s not weak, she tells herself, even though she knows it’s not true. his voice comes again, this time harder. Better keep YOUR eyes open, dear. Wouldn’t want me sending you six feet down to lay you to rest with dear mother now, would we? the words burn like ice, sending a swirl of spite down her throat. he has no right to talk about sophie. he wasn’ht there to see caspian fall apart. he didn’t have to take care of the pups the grey kalak had left behind. he didn’t have to grow up. her head tilts down as hateful words she won’t release fight against the wall of clenched teeth. she glances up as he steps back and she almost screams the word coward at him - because that’s what he is. a coward who can’t face anything head on. all he does is run away.

Why are you here, princess? Shouldn’t you be in your territory, pretending to be something special? that one hurt. pain radiated outwards from her core, eating up everything like a forest fire. she’d known he’d never been interested in her when they were younger but memories of the night they’d shared together came rushing back - “I’ll be taking you seriously now.” tears stung her eyes and her intake of breath is sharp and it hurts her throat. she’d been an idiot, she realizes. she should’ve run when she had the chance, got away and left him standing in the clearing by himself. he was moving backwards again when more words came at her. Want to know a secret? her teary eyes narrow as she lifts her head up again.

I’m a monster, dearest. It’s in my genes to kill. As Ys’s son, I have taken upon the ‘family business’ of a reaper. something in the back of her head acknowledges the name he whispered. ys. a name to go with a face she’d never seen. caspian had never tried to be the twins’ father and sophie never mentioned it. everyone knew, of course, that the two boys weren’t caspian’s, but something like closure settles in the back of her head. closure for sophie - finally, no more secrets (that eriel knew of) about her older sister. he turned from her and it felt like her skin was on fire. not like the pain he’d shot through her, not like a forest fire eating her up, but like she was the forest fire, devouring anything but anger from her emotions.

”bullshit,” she spat viciously. ”do you think i’m fucking stupid?” her lip curled as she took two steps forward. ”do you honestly expect me to believe that you killed sophie? you protected her from everything you did and everything you said - you protected her from yourself. i’ll slit my own throat if it turns out you killed her.” her chest heaves violently and she forces herself to stay still, to keep talking. her voice is still a little watery from the tears that sting her eyes still, but she doesn’t care anymore.”you’re such a coward, romulus. you think you’re the only one to got messed up when sophie died? hell - this started when your dear daddy dearest killed axel and raped sophie.” it was a low blow to bring up how he came into the world and to bring up sophie’s death, but he needed to hurt as bad as she did.

”we were paired together and i held up my end of the bargain, even when you didn’t hold up yours. i put up with all your shit and i tried so hard to be patient and let you come to me. i defended you every time pandora said something about you, because i gave the fucks that you didn’t.” her head and heart ache and more tears sting her eyes and she lets them go. she lets them fall - it doesn’t matter now, he’ll never see them. ”and then sophie dies and you just leave. do you know how that looks? wait - of course you don’t.” another low blow, and she knows it, but she keeps talking. ”after all the shit you pulled, you just drop sophie’s body for everyone to find and book it. do you know how many times caspian swore to hunt you down and kill you?” it’s not a lie - somewhere between mindless screams and sobbing, eriel made out threats to her betrothed. ”you didn’t see everything fall apart! you didn’t have to watch your brother starve himself or become some empty shell. you didn’t have to take care of their children! i did. odessa and pandora left after that, after she died. do you know how shitty that was? to have everyone you have left just leave?” her voice is hard an bitter when she spits out the next line of lyrics at him. ”don’t say i’m pretending to be special, because the day my own mother left me, i realized that i’m nothing special to anyone. i’m not pretending to do anything. i had to leave cold summers because it hurt to much to be surrounded by empty. it hurts ten times worse when you realize you’re just as empty inside as the woods are. when i realized i was as empty as the woods.” she’s ripping off the scab of everything that’s happened and rubbing salt into her own wound and it leaves her breathless in a bad way.

”you wouldn’t care though, would you, reaper? go ahead and run off, just like you always do.” she’s finally done and despite having thrown everything inside her at him, she doesn’t feel better. if anything, she feels worse. she doesn’t think she can bear his response, so she takes his own course of action and begins to turn away. "and have fun picking off whatever family i have left, since it's your job now." more resentment falls from her lips without her permission as she begins to move back the way she came.


(ooc. JESUS CHRIST. eriel’s language got bad i’m sorry bby. ouch this hurt to write. ily)