It feels so wrong to be this way with her child pressed up against her. Only last winter she had been so thrilled with her growing belly. The happiness - it had been all consuming. To have a love once more and to now have four of her own children that adored her even when they were being spritely little things. Ankh had a tendency for adventure and tenacious spirit that sometimes came across as rough yet Natu saw in her a remnant of her own brother, Warlow, and Alexander reminded her so much of Fenrir. Alistair was a cross between both and Arthfael tended towards a sort of quiet that consumes one. They were all so different and yet the protected each other and she could see the bond between them grow. She tried to nurture and love them with all she had and in this moment it feels like she has betrayed her son to appear so broken before him.
Yet he does not cry with her, he is strong. He supports her and shows her love. Her heart swells as she looks upon her deaf child as he grins up at her, that innocent grin and that wagging tail, and she catches the way his eyes drift to the side to make sure his siblings are not nearby to catch this moment. It makes her lips twitch into a tremulous smile; she wants to giggle at his antics.
She watches him as he absorbs her words and attempts to figure out the meaning. The cause of her tears and her distress and she sighs gently as she waits for him to question it. This moment is so different from the childhood Sven had, huddling in the den of Natu but never approaching her. Always keeping himself remote. They had last year to make amends and to grow and then things had happened that drew her away from Spirane for long periods of time. Now she regretted not dragging him with her. Yet they had never truly known about each other. It was always tentative between them.
Like Ifrit.. Neirin. She blinks a few times to try and clear her eyes that well once more with tears. A sob builds it's way up her throat. She had brought him to this, she thinks. If she could rewind time she would have found Svens parents - however undeserving she thought them - and she would have returned him. He would be alive now. Happy. Never alone. "Yes," she gasps out, dropping her head for a moment with ears tucked back and eyes closed. "Yes, gone like them I think."
Her son licks beneath her cheek and his puppy breath is calming. She opens her eyes to look down on him as he says no. No he will not leave her. "My sweet boy," she murmurs. "You are my heart, dear one. You are growing too fast. You must always stay small, okay?" The last words come out as a jest though he cannot know the nuances of her voice. She lifts one paw and places it on top of his head to reiterate her point of his being a child with a smile. "I will be alright, son. Come, let us go to the den and check on your brothers and sister. I bet your sister has gotten into much trouble while we have been away."