she barely rouses when he arrives, looking more worn than her good days - but the fact that she stirs at all is enough for him to be sure it is not one of her bad days. it is something that gives him hope, her seeming to hear him arrive before he tucked his muzzle beneath her throat. his black fur against her white, it makes him feel like her shadow, like a silent partner to her misery and ever willing to become balm or distraction. she smells too much of earth lately, tucked in their den and venturing out only rarely.
even his children, the children of any of the three mates of the fantastic four, do not smell of earth so greatly. only everlyse did and everlyse only did because of her bed-ridden state. he sighs against her throat as he hears her stomach growl, so glad that he had eaten away from the den and brought her enough to at least put a dent. she sighs in return and her groggy voice confirms, agreeing or complying would be left to question though only a moment as she reaches out a paw to drag one nearer.
she apologizes and drags a tongue across his cheek that encourages a groan up his throat, “no need, only eat.”
“It is... I mean... why?” she returns at him, question blazing in her eyes as they bore into the carcass in her paws. she is angry and he can understand the fury. his brothers had left him with much the same feeling. how could neirin sacrifice himself, or ifrit? how could ifrit have lunged without thinking of where neirin was placed? why didn’t they do things differently? how dare they leave him with their children, as if he was equipped to lead himself or their women? he had been the only prince to turn king - but it was no matter. “Why? Why have I lost all before and continue to do so? What if I lose you or the children? I cannot live with that, Fenrir. I am not quite so strong as you are.”
“i have survived things that few others have. i am still here and our children are still here.” the word our feels harsh on his tongue but it is all that he can do. it is all he can offer when in his heart of hearts, he felt responsibility for what had happened to the pup of her heart. sven had never been comfortable… and because of past mistakes and the petty bias of an alpha -- he had been the cause of sven’s demise. without his history, they would never have been kept at arms length and sven would never have felt abandoned when discomfort in a jailer-den led to natu’s wanderlust to be in a place that felt so like home amidst beloved friends and welcoming arms.
it leaves him feeling bereft, knowing he is the origin of her grief, the maker of it in a vicarious way. “and i am only strong because there is no one else left to be strong for us. i am the heir to my brother’s family and i cannot grieve as i once might have.”.
FENRIR
the dragonborn ; of scotavia
male | 18 years | 37 inches | 150 pounds
vagabond residing in asteraia | mate of natu
father of : arthfael, alistair, alexander, ankh (x natu)
sire of : weylin (x charlemagne), taliesin (x doe)
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