I am honestly ashamed of my former behavior towards my family. Everything I had done I blame myself for, I don’t know why I had expected things to be handed to me, or whatever it was that caused my mind to wander as it had in the past, always dozing in the den never wishing for my sister’s company. I wanted to change it, but part of me knew it might be a bit too late. Still though I would try to reconnect the bond with at least her, she deserved as much even though I knew soon enough I would be on the move once again. She always was the big dreamer, and those dreams of being the greatest were what drove her to do everything she had done. I never really had any idea what I wanted to do until recently and even then no goals particularly rested in my mind. Healing was what Haziel was doing in Asteraia, he’s blind though not like he can fight or hunt. Hunting was about the only skill I had and that was out of pure necessity that I had learned it. I never had a teacher to learn fighting from, though it was what I wanted to do in Asteraia I never got with the wolf Vincent to learn. I was a blank slate as far as skills were concerned and it took me three years to figure out I needed a dream of my own, and I think that dream might come to me in Iromar.

I wander deeper into the lands, I know my call is heard; perhaps I am simply not going to be greeted as excitedly as I thought. I knew my bonds have been damaged but were they this badly done? Or was my family simply dwindling away more than I could have ever imagined? I shrug my cindered shoulders looking around not noticing that I was being follow. She made no noise, being downwind there was no way I could smell her. I had no idea how much she had grown and developed, in body, mind and skill, nor could I ever imagine the greeting she was going to give me. I knew of her past, of why she started training, again another guilty thing for me to hold on too. I heard about how our grandfather hurt her in one of his crazy fits after his imprint had died, it was what further spurred her to be what she is. I wasn’t there though, I wasn’t there because I was off wandering around in the free lands then being so unsure of what to say or what to do to help her. So I did nothing, I acted like everything just was it was, not thinking of how it hurt her in my childish stupidity. My eyes are open now, I have a lot to make up for a lot of holes to fill, but I know I can do it.

Though still I wasn’t expecting the sudden rush of paws upon me expertly covered by the loud bird calls. I felt the little breeze from her rush of movement and out of instinct I turn just in time to see something huge, golden and white rushing at then fangs on the scruff of my neck. I do not yelp, I do not think our blood allows for such pathetic sounds at times, instead grunting and growling until the rush of smell hit my nose. I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel myself go limp, jerked this way and that by the back of my neck by an opponent that I am simply outclassed by. The next thing I know is I am sprawled out in the red dirt of our home land. I am not so unaware though after I am tossed, seemingly woken up by the shock of hitting the ground. I do have some natural talent though it is sorely un-honed so unlike the massive female before me. As I watch the white and gold flash towards my face I jerk my head back my body doing some sort of weird flail on the ground rather than accomplishing anything but getting one of her fangs hooked on my muzzle and drug across the bridge and on the side slightly. It hurts and stings and my immediate reaction is to put one of my dirty paws on it only exacerbating the pain as she backs away from me.

I lay in the dirt thoroughly embarrassed and perhaps it showed, inwardly I burned with frustration that I had been left so far behind, placed in her shadow as she stood over me, but it was my own fault I could only be angry at my own inadequacies. Now I was in her shadow too, my own sister, and littermate. My muzzle was covered in a bit of blood and dirt alike, if this scarred it would be my lesson and perhaps my reminder of my failure for the rest of my life.

”If this is how I will be greeted every time I get home I may not come home ever again!” I say obviously flustered but still in good humor. I manage a smile though inside I am hurt and still burning with embarrassment. I have that angel pride that’s for sure, I just seem a bit better at hiding it than others. Still, it feels good to see her smile at me, good to hear her say it’s nice to see me. ”But, yeah it’s nice to see you too.” She had grown so much, I think she took all my masculinity in the womb, I mean how else could I look to girly while she looked like that, obviously our genders somewhere in the process had been switched or something. I get up on my feet, my previously perfectly clean fur now dusted with red dirt. I shake off feeling the light sting of my muzzle leaving a little cloud of dust in my wake.

”Where’s Mother and Father?” I ask hoping she knew where they were and if I should go find them myself if they were busy. I needed to talk to them after all, needed their blessing, or lack their of, so at the very least they knew were my paws were bound. And now, I think my dream was forming, I think with this little lesson, I knew what I had to do to get myself out of these shadows I hid myself under for far too long.