a portrait of a tortured you and i;
The contact she gives him, the constant and soothing touches are like a balm to his burn. The lingering grasp of his nightmare seems to settle with each breath that intertwines between them. As he finds himself breathing heavily into the fur of her chest. Knowing without doubt that no wounds created by his demon had been left upon her body. Emotions that had swarmed and overpowered him now seem to idle, allowing him to relive it all in his mind. The fear was real, so real. Though he cannot deny the relief of the fact that it was not reality and she is safe, there is a lingering guilt at how his past will be told to her now. He had wanted to keep that part so distant, afraid of what would come when the time came to tell his story. Now, there was no choice. The pain of the past had presented itself rather boldly into the presence of his future and all he can do is hope whatever would come of this would not have his friend think any less of him. For he had changed, trying to do right, hopefully his actions would speak louder than his words would this night.
As the last of the blood that had stained his face is removed he knows she can see every scar and it's brutality. She had felt them, the only living soul that had, without the need to add more. It is a step he had not realized was made until after the effect but he does not regret that it was his friend who had the chance to do this. A heavy exhale rushes from his lungs as orange eyes linger on her, watching as she moved to place them cheek to cheek. When her nose finds itself buried in the black does he pause. Allowing her this moment willingly, for even after what she had seen, she was still here... with him. With you. The almost silent whisper seems to worm it's way through the fur it was breathed in, the fact his thoughts were voiced through her words has them settling over the pounding heart within his chest. The slight startle it gives before it somehow picks up in speed until it rings in his ears. For a moment he wants to blurt out words the linger on his tongue, allow them free reign yet with much restraint and the act of biting his tongue he says nothing. Instead, his own muzzle reaches out to gently rest near the back of her head, as if to hold her there, forever if he could. Living in this moment for as long as he could, knowing it would end.
At the first hint of movement does he stir, shifting his weight as the warmth of Daenerys is pulled from his light grasp. Orange eyes meeting those warm dark ones. A gentle touch and then she is moving towards the den. Motioning for him to follow. For a split second he hesitates, until he remembers she is here at his side should she choose to reenter the den. But that is not her destination, instead it was the acting balcony of the den, open and well lit by the cascading moonlight. Silence hangs heavy in the air and a thick swallow is all this is done before he moves.
Laying down beside of her, once again feeding of the warmth she gives ease the tension that is growing, for the time had come and mentally he was preparing for what would be asked even as his body unknowingly leaned into her, seeking the contact even in worry. As she places a paw atop his own he cannot help the small smile that bleeds through all the tension, as orange eyes glance at the down at the contact she gives. Trying to distract himself as he seemed to wait on bated breath.
Was he ever real?..
Her question is soft, yet to him it is as if she screamed it. HIM! A strained growl slips from tight throat as he tries to swallow it back down. "He was.." Pausing, as burning orange eyes turn to look at her. "I killed him for taking her.." A humorless laugh chokes out. "I never even knew his name." Maybe he was better off not knowing it? To give his demon a name changed nothing, his life was forfeited when he had taken Orra's. A heavy exhale, as all the air in his lungs rushes out as it prepares to spew all the dirty little secrets. "After he killed her and the pup I lost it, cause everything I had in life was her. I buried her and the little boy in our special place, hoping that in death she and him could always be happy and safe." He pauses, remembering. "She use to tell me I'd grow up and be her knight, save everyone. All these stories.. cause she said I was her hero. She wanted the best for me in a world that was filled with death." A small smile slipping across his jaws at the memory. "She had went on a raid, knowing little ones were going to be near and she had hoped she could save them. I stayed behind. When... When they returned she was missing, gone. Until I overheard the others mocking her dying cries as I passed them. He was there, covered in blood. Told me she screamed for me, was begging for me to save her while she tried to protect a small pup. Told me that he would kill her all over again just to see my pain.." A stifled sob. "I didn't believe him. She would never leave me, but I found her. What he left of her, the pup had a clean death, probably painless. Orra took the pain intended for him, he was a prize and she denied the captor his claim. So he took both."
The anger is growing, the short reprieve he had to calm and collect himself now seems wasted at the rage that burns in his blood. "That's who she was though, a small light trying the thrive in a world of darkness. She was so kind and gentle.." He pauses allowing her to absorb everything so far, orange eyes locked on the paw that rested on his own, not yet ready to look at her. For it seemed her one simple question had broken the dam and he cannot stop the flow of words. "He destroyed that, so I destroyed him. Painfully. I made him suffer cause I know she had, yet even as he lay dying at my feet he was laughing, cause I was becoming one of them. I took his head after that, silencing him."
That had been a task, gnawing into living flesh and feeling the life drain as you severed muscle, tendons, and at last bone. He had done it though, after covered in his blood with the others cheering at his back did he piss on him before dragging his head to their den, where he cried. For not only had Orra died that day but also that little boy within himself that wanted to save everyone. "After his death, I took on every single one that laughed and mocked Orra's death. My face? It holds their resistance to die. It's ironic how they laughed at her's and when it had come to their own they too have pleaded and begged.. Cried for mercy, but I had nothing left. " Another humorless laugh escapes. "After I had settled the score I was consumed in the blood and power, the life she never wanted for me was all I had. When there was no one left to punish, everyone was fair game including my sister..." Everlyse. He pauses, glancing from the corner of his eye at everything he was unloading. "My sins are never ending. My name was feared and envied... But at the end.. I could almost hear her heart breaking over everything I had done, I loved her... She had saved me... When my parents traded me and my sister to them.. She picked me... Loved me... She will always in my eyes be my mother.. " He pauses drawing a quick breath before finishing. "She wanted happiness for me, like any mother would.. I left, trailing after a sister I had abused for years in hopes of righting my wrongs.. Though I don't think my lifetime here will be long enough to fix everything I've done...."
A stuttering breath escapes, as his heart pounds in his chest. He had not meant to lay it all out as he had but that was question regarding his existence was too much and he could not help but let it overflow and unleash itself. Viora had been the only other who knew of his loss for she too had suffered. But somehow the fact he had told Daenerys makes the weight on his shoulders feels bother lighter and heavier all at once. Silencing himself, wondering if more questions would come, hoping she would not reject him now that she knew just what she had let into her home. Waiting for the stinging pain that accompanied ripping a band aid off quickly. Waiting to see just what his friend would do.
Jericho. seven - no mate - no imprint - of spirane |