I am hoping that once I am well enough and stable enough to go on a journey I will be able to leave Iromar. I need to check on the other packs. It is my job and I cannot allow my Empress down. I cannot fail her. Not when I completely forgot to bring the two pups to Taviora. I will not forget this time. I just can’t. I am afraid of failure. I feel like I have done nothing to make Mother proud. I crave to find that chance to see approval in her eyes and hear some positive things slip from her scarred maw. I am unaware that my Mother is tethered to Tobias, the very demonic beast that had attacked me when I ventured to Diveen, or that she has already started to kill innocent wolves. I know my Mother was a Monster, she told me, but I am unaware of her actions. I cannot be responsible for them, but I am sure if someone told me about it, then I would come to believe that I too will do these terrible things. The mark between my forehead is the same curse mark Mother had, only it was a light grey, in her pack it was the mark that she would become a terrifying monster. Perhaps she abandoned me only so that I may take that path without her influence. I have no idea, but when I am well I will seek her out, because I need to see her. I need her to see that I made it. I grew up, I became a high ranked member, and I am serving the pack she swore my fate to.
As I sit comfortably on my side of the border I cannot help but tilt my head to the side curiously. There upon my shoulder are deep puncture wounds that I received from Tobias when I came to Diveen. Their healer, Meryl, had taken care of me and I’ve tried to do what I could for him in kindness, but he wouldn’t accept anything. He was a good wolf and so were the others. I didn’t see most of them, but the ones that I did see treated me with kindness. I know they were wary of me, just as I was them, but they managed to see that although I carried the marks of Demons – I was not one. Bright violet eyes would watch him carefully as he places himself on the ground and dips his head. I know my frame is slender more so than it should be, but my ribs are not prodding out as much. Thankfully my winter’s coat came in and it was able to camouflage the results of not eating. As he speaks I listen attentively nodding in agreement, my own soft lyrics trickling out gently.
“It is Aithne’s and my goal to provide a stable and trusting relationship between our packs. I understand what it is like to work for a high rank. I was only two and a half when I received this rank.”
I know what it is like to work hard for a position, of any kind, and it took me awhile to earn it. Thankfully Andras and Aithne noticed my hard work and determination and rewarded me. Now that I have hit the roof of my low ceiling I must try to maintain it. The only higher rank I can carry is to be an Alpha and I could not challenge Aithne for it, nor could I challenge another wolf, I must admit I do not know how to fight. To kill, yes. Mother taught me various methods, but I do not think I should do such a thing in a battle. A battle must be quick. Mother did not want me to kill my prey quickly, she wanted me to do it slowly, to embrace its death. There is a reason why my sweet name is laced with Death’s shadow. He wishes to know about our pack and I cannot deny this to him, because these are facts…facts that are allowed to be shared.
“We function well underneath Aithne. When Lord Andras decided to step down it was a shock to us all, but he had not been feeling well ever since his imprint and mate, our former Queen Lilith, was murdered here. We have yet to find her killer.”
It is at this point I lower my eyes and act as if the ground interests me. My voice is much softer. I know what I am about to admit is something that shouldn’t be no…as it contains information about Andras. But it is when that particular subject is done do I lift my head and speak bolder – letting him know the conditions of a certain rule.
“Andras…has not been himself. He is extremely ill and a bit deranged. Aithne made it clear to us all that whatever hate between our packs had, attacking or killing a Diveen wolf, or any other pack wolf, would be in clear violation and the punishment would be death. It is her wish and mine, that whatever terrible ties our packs had we wish to destroy it, but it will take a lot of time.”
My tail sways side to side for a moment in a friendly manner as I think back on my goal. I hope that maybe if he becomes his Queen’ Advisor he might be willing to help me get a chance to go back to Diveen with our pups, and help develop some more trust between our packs.
“Your pack was kind to me. I have not forgotten, but I wish to we pay the kindness one day. One day our pups and your pups should meet. Perhaps when you go back to speak with your Queen you could suggest it…we would be open to the idea and I could bring our two pups to your lands.”
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