maybe

(music ^^^^)

Sleekwing is quick to arrive at my den after my den, and I am thankful for it. He does not come in, though he's welcome to, but his mere presence alone if comforting. In this time of fear and uncertainty, there is nothing better than having a friend close by. Even if he does not know how to heal in the case that something bad should happen, I was less likely to panic with him here, and that in turn could save my life. Thankfully though, that was not the case, and things ran incredibly smoothly despite this being my first birth and my older age. Soon enough, the pain was done and I was left to my exhaustion and the tiny extensions of me for me to love and cherish for life.

When the birth is done and I curl around my little Irniq (son) and Panik (daughter), a low, motherly rumble echoing my chest like a lullaby to comfort my babies and bond. I listen to their quiet whimpering at they both fall asleep, nestled into my side after having gorged themselves on milk. My snowy ears flick at the sound of Sleek crawling in closer, making me smile. I see him at the entrance, peering in with a smile and I offer him a chuff to let him know he is welcome to come closer if he desires. My tail thumps gently upon the ground and I unravel slightly to allow him a better look at my frost touched daughter Kirsikka and my young warrior Cadwan.

He drops a piece of meat her happens to be holding, nudging it to me, but I cannot even dream of eating right now, this feeling so euphoric my hunger is gone. In time, it will come back with a ferocity, and I will gladly eat what he has so graciously offered me in an attempt to replenish my diminished strength. "They are beautiful, Ailith." he says, and I smile in thanks as he backs back out of the den. "From where she is from, there is a way of telling the destinies of new pups, it is an old tradition," I say, indulging him slightly of the entirely different culture of the tundra.

"The young girl has the stars upon her cheeks. In the tundra, there was a pack of wolves who had the stars in their eyes and were foretold to be able to speak to the stars," I say, my voice calm and loving, yet hushed as to not wake my children. Now I gently point to my young boy Cadwan. "The young boy has the heart of an ice bear, as the elders would have said. The way he roars already means that he was destined to be a strong warrior, much like you," I say, smiling to my friend who lay just outside. If these predictions were true, then I hoped that my Cadwan could learn from Sleekwing, how to be a strong, brave warrior with a heart of gold. "These may just be stories, she was never much introduced to them in her pack of assassins. Kirsikka and Cadwan may grow to be whatever they choose and she will love them and be proud of them just the same."

And then it hits me, the bound that bound my soul to Eric's burst alive with a sudden closeness. He was near, I could feel it, and very near. The whine that escapes my lips is heart breaking as I hear something drop and then feet leave. I know it is him, that he has come to make sure I was alright, even putting himself at risk by trespassing. "Eric......" I say, my voice full of pain and longing for him to come be with me, to see my children. Yet I feel the bond growing distant once more, as he leaves me. Instinctively I let out a howl, calling him, pleading for him to return. But just as quick as he had come, he was gone. I whined again, feeling my heart shatter after just being rebuilt by the birth of my puppies.

Our relationship was so poisonous, but I couldn't imagine life without him. To know that he was so close, but still out of reach. That he risked his safety to come find me, not only from the spirane wolves but from the wrath of his mate Seline. It meant a lot.

11 years | loveless | tied to Eric | Spirane | Mother of Cadwan and Kirsikka♥