i wish i could say that once my brother tore off after Mother there was a comforting silence that followed. in all actuality, the silence was instantly broken by my consistent wheezing which seemed extremely loud in these moments of loneliness. i have felt lonely before, when Mother was enjoying her meals and my brother attacking the carcass as well and i would sit in the corner, watching, and waiting patiently for sleep to overcome them before i would take my deformed self over to what was left and feed myself slowly, ever so slowly. this loneliness though, was different. for in these moments i felt strangely vulnerable, a feeling i have yet to experience. but aside from my wheezing, it is awfully quiet…

i gaze into the brush where the forms of my family have dispersed, a sad, low whine escaping my severed lips as i sit. what else is there to do? there is no way possible that i could catch up to them for i am still tired from the effort it took of me to get here. so i will wait…i will wait and hopefully they will return to me. though in the back of my mind i feel abandoned, knowing that somehow this is different. it finally happened, they had probably been plotting this for weeks and now it happened.

i am alone.

the light of the sun is beginning the leave, the day drawing cool and i can feel the moisture in this land leak into the air and land upon my already shivering body. i do not look away from the darkening underbrush as i lay down upon the earth. they will come back. i ignore the thoughts that linger within my mind. i ignore the soft pain of emptiness at each small beat of my heart. i choose to have hope, to believe in the possibility of a happy ending. the three of us, we will make it and we will be happy. i will be happy. my hopes change to dreams and in my dream land i breathe normally, my face also normal and Mother smiles at me. her licks are warm across my body, her touch genuine and her love shining in her eyes. in my dream i feast first, not last, and i gorge until i feel as if my very stomach is about to burst. in my dream everything is as it should be…

i feel a touch upon my body and i am startled awake, realizing now that i had fallen asleep. a quick pang of pain hits my chest as i come to, for that is all it was; a dream. but then happiness shoots through me; Mother. perhaps she has returned? i turn to look upon the being that has practically stepped on me and….cringe. it is a male, a large dark male that now looks upon me. he lowers his face to me and i close my eyes, embracing the end only…his tongue slides out and gently strokes me. i blink, barely hearing his words as he too has run in the direction that they have. this must be the male she spoke of; my father…i simply stare for what else is there for me to do? i am frozen in shock, confusion and slight fear. but he had licked me…i have never been licked except upon my very birth. i revel in it, the first true affectionate touch granted to me by a male.

how ironic.
Ansel

she took my breath away

zero - naamah x nathaniel - heartless - soulless - loner