i swear i never meant to let it die
He had known terrible things and those things had changed him in so many ways. It was sometimes hard to remember who he had once been and the morals he'd once held. Quinn had been so different in the years past, but that was what life had done to him. Gave him many experiences that had altered him just enough here and there that the end result might not even be something anyone would recognize. Maybe. It was something to be put to the test, but Quinn wasn't looking for what had been before. He wasn't.. looking for anything at all, honestly. He had given up on looking. Given up on being anything but right now, dealing with the latest mess he'd made.
Not that Quinn would say it out loud, for he did care about the sorta reddish bundle of fur that was bouncing along ahead of him. Ariel was not suppost to be for too many reasons, and yet the little one was here and Quinn had told himself that he needed to look after this one. He needed to do this right. Quinn had messed up with Irial and Syncope, with the ones he'd never known (the count was now high and he was ashamed as hell about that), and maybe only Sam had been less let down, but even there Quinn hadn't done his best. This time he was really trying, and in a way Ariel had thawed a cold place within him.
Pretend, pretend, pretend. Be what Ariel needed him to be, and bullshit his way through it if need be. Now Quinn would never straight up tell a lie to anyone, much less the little fluffball he was following, but if he could do what he thought was needed in a way where it wasn't caught up in a lie -- avoid -- then he would. He remembers all the things that he had been, and it was strange to think about some of it. There had been so many places he'd gone, though this one was new. Better to be in a new place if he was trying to shed off all of the things that had been a part of the past. It isn't to say he regretted all of it or anything, because that simply was not true. He just.. needed to find himself again.
His nose doesn't divert much form being able to at least touch Ariel's tail, or back; anything to ensure he did not lose the pup in the darkness. Sure, Quinn could see well enough in it, as any wolf could (except he did have that little fringe that flopped to the side that sometimes, admittably, hindered sight), but he was quite protective. There were things he would never tell Ariel about how the little one had come into the world or what Oma had said about him. Abomination. Quinn had done some damage to that pack when things were.. stable. Ariel had been born premature, and the three siblings were buried low in the dirt somewhere.
Life was full of hard lessons, but at least a nursing morther had helped to keep Ariel alive in the months needed. Once able to go.. Quinn had taken the pup and left. And here they were, traveling along with Quinn debating what to do about the Winter months. Answers would come when they were most needed, he figured. Fate had never been a gentle thing to Quinn, but he expected that. It made sense, but here and now he was trying not to tempt it into anything horrible. Of course fate was a cruel bitch, and it would never stop following him and putting him into situations that he wasn't ready for. He should be used to it all so well, but so often it still came as a surprise.
Ariel yipped at something in the distance that had caught his attention, and was trundling on ahead at full speed (an awkward puppy gait, of course), and Quinn had to move at a quicker pace, though he was running by no means. He was thin and mostly legs; supermodel sleek, and as pretty as ever. There was a ribbon of color down the side of his throat -- dried blood -- but he wasn't vain enough to really take notice to it. Or maybe he simply liked the color on his lilac gray pelt. None of this crossed his mind as he moved, stopping short at the sight of another male and snarling warningly before cutting Ariel's path off from going closer. Pup was simply too friendly...