you are the light to my soul

The view she had been so desperate to seek out and soothe her pain is lost in the presence of another. She had not anticipated finding him here, but she cannot help but feel a little lighter despite it all. Drogon. He had been there, through various stages of her life since she had been brought to Spirane after Asteraia's take over. There is a bond she cannot explain, yet she had never questioned just welcomes it. Perhaps there had been some small form of hope that he would be here, this was after all where he had found her that one day when Yuki had joined them. Though these were not the same circumstances as before, hindered by the pain that seems to crack at her heart. She feels at loss, unsure what to do yet her body cannot stop the sweep of joy that takes over. With a shallow wave of her tail to the timid smile, the whimper that escapes was not intended as her eyes seem to moisten further at the lack of strength she has at hiding her emotions. Pale eyes blink heavily as she watches him rise and come closer as her ears soon fold against her head. Her head lowering in submission as her instincts demand her to comply. For a brief moment her pale eyes shut, needing a moment to collect herself. The small twitch of her collapsed ears gives away that she has heard his silent question in her name and she cannot force a reply from her lips just yet.

In this moment she so desperately craved the force her mother seemed to harbor or even the stoic power of her sister. Instead she is weak and maybe even fool hearted. For here she was submitting to her friend, afraid he will push away due to her flaws. She cannot help but feel such, she is nothing like her blood siblings, nor her father or mother. An anomaly. That does not stop her from loving them despite the differences, even when their absence tears at her heart. Why had they left her? Camilla was the only one still lingering and day by day she has seen her less and less. Left to watch the bond her other siblings have when she is all alone. The death of her father and uncle seemed to tear away the family that had been built. It was not perfect, yet it was in her eyes at least for the short time it had lasted.

It is the next question that causes her eyes to open and head to tilt up to look into the dark red she was so familiar with. For a moment she just admires her friend, still yet he doubles her in size; a force to be reckoned with. The stark black and streaks of red that she found comfort in. After all their time together she had kept her pain and loss hidden from him, until today... in the end would he leave too? "I miss them.." She whispers from her lips, pale eyes blinking at the admission as moisture clings so heavy. "I want them back.." Father. Vladimir. Panzer. Camilla. "It hurts.." She pauses, as her words trip over her tongue. "Do you think they miss me too?.." That was the real question, the one that causes her so much pain. For what if they did not think of her as she did them. Did they ever wonder about her? Or had she been forgotten.. Leaving her with nothing but faded memories of the past she clung to.

Those thoughts so dark and unknown to her drive her to him, forces her to seek out the only solid and constant thing she has outside of her remaining family. As swiftly does she place herself before him, her head tucked down as she buries her face within the mass of fur upon his chest. So fragile against his strength, if only she could disappear within the black he possessed and hide away until the hurt stopped, if it ever would. Life was not easy, she had felt the pain that comes with it. Yet she also felt the joy, the laughter, the bliss. She does not doubt that her life will not consist of nothing negative, she cannot prevent it no matter how hard she will try and fight the aches that will come and go. So she just breathes. In and out. Riding out this wave of emotions that flood her as she clings to Drogon. Eyes shut tight as her head sways left and right, in rhythm to the heartbeat that seems directly before her. Hoping he will allow her this, allow her to collect herself and find composure somehow.

you hold me in your hands

ONE - CRONE OF SPIRANE - SISTER OF SIX - IFRIT    & EVERLYSE