don't look for me cause i'm too far gone...
Everything was foggy.
The slender wolf stumbled through the forest, every once in a while bumping into trees and looking at plants before eating them without thought or worry. There were wounds on the back of his neck and shoulders that were healed but clearly not treated as many are or would have been should the tri-colored male been in his right mind to take care of them properly. It had been a long time since he pulled himself from the shadows to move. Snow was falling causing him to go wandering into the open to explore. It wasn’t the females but the snow itself driving him out looking at the slight accumulation and occasionally blankly staring up at the sky with dead looking brown and sky blue eyes. When he brought his head back downwards the already skinny male stumbled weakly about, shivering slightly with his thinner than average fur not providing much for protection on his bony body.
He couldn’t remember much of what happened, he didn’t know if he wanted too. He had felt… rage and hate. He had gone out on a hunt though it wasn’t for prey but for another wolf. He remembered feeling a sick pleasure when he felt the pain, when he was being ripped to shreds simply because he knew that that other who attacked him would die. There was no way around it, he remembered cackling as he bled on the ground and the other brute’s already fading strength choked on poison. Aconite was one of the most potent and Meryl knew maybe he would suffer effects. After that he remembered feeling a burning, and weakness and retching and vomiting but he was happy cause he had won. He had defeated his demon and he wanted to see the body and he couldn’t find it. Gone… All gone. He was still happy though at the moment he couldn’t think of a time where he had been more pleased with himself all his life, but like the brute he had been poisoned too.
His mind had gone into a fog, he felt euphoric whenever he could find any sort of scrap of food and his body was so weak he could barely forage for himself. Soon his mind fell into a dark pit where it was kill or be killed and his instincts took over. His mind was still lost as he stumbled about leaving the safety of that dark pit for this stuff that now caused his skin to burn with cold. He sat down in the snow feeling too tired to continue standing and looked up at the sky again. He couldn’t focus his mind. Why was this torturous stuff captivating him so?