BLURRY EYED AND TONGUE-TIED
trippin’ over landmines
The bay mare shook her head, uncomprehending at first, and then disbelieving. Sure, she hadn’t found Psych when she had left Tolinka at the pool, but what little she already knew of the Lagoon stallion, he would be around somewhere. “Maybe he slipped away unnoticed,” Sinopa suggested quietly, conviction in her tone. She had to believe that her sister was with a friend, because to think anything else… No, she wouldn’t dwell on that. After all, she had only just stepped ashore, and to let her thoughts stray would only send her diving back in to the water, driven by a darker fear. “Or maybe she’s looking for me,” she wondered aloud again. And she imagined Tolinka in their clearing above the pool, watching and waiting for her.
Just when she was about to ask Asche what he thought of Psychedelic, the stallion turned to her, met her eyes and held her gaze, so that she was transfixed. And his words, they were almost too much, and she longed to look away, to tear her focus from him, but she couldn’t. He seemed to know them so well, and at the same time, he reached Sinopa’s deep fears and hidden secrets, as if seeking to soothe the ever-present turmoil buried in the depths of her.
“That is noble of you, Asche,” she said quietly, when she found her voice. “If only more held your point of view...” The bay mare trailed off, finally turning to look back out to sea, her mind wandering. What was it she’d said to Psych? We just wanted to see these islands for ourselves… I can’t wait to visit them all! Well, here she was on the sandy beach of one of them. “And what if I want both?” she asked, eyes drifting back to the pale-skinned stallion beside her. “To venture to the other islands, but to always come back.” To you. She left the last words unspoken, but they were there in her tone, in her midnight eyes.
He spoke of bravery then, and she couldn’t look him in the eyes. So she let her gaze linger on his dark ears, wishing that she could agree with him. If only he knew that it was not bravery that had brought her here, but that she had followed a shadow of fear… “Yes, once,” she repeated, feeling the need to speak, lest he take her silence for disagreement (which was exactly what it would be). “And then we went to live with Ahanu, the young but determined lead of a neighbouring herd. We were so eager to see the world, even back then...” A deep, steadying breath.
“He taught us many things about who we were, and after a few months, Tolinka grew to love him.” Sinopa turned and her gaze darted to his face, before she looked away again, head low, eyes downcast. “And then Ahanu changed, and what he did... We never stayed in one place long after that, learned to look after ourselves, so nothing could hurt us.” The bay mare fell silent then, steeling herself against sad and bitter memories she knew she’d never forget. “You’ve changed everything.” The words were so quiet that the rush of the waves over the sand almost drowned them out, and with her head low as it was, it was like she was murmuring a secret to the crushed shells beneath her.
The promise he made her lifted her spirits, and Sinopa raised her head, a tiny smile pulling at the corner of her lips. “Mmm,” she hummed in her throat, waiting for his question, dark ears alert and eager, turned towards him. And then he voiced it, and she dipped her muzzle, thinking deeply. Internal thoughts jumbled around her mind. You’ve already done so much. And the darker, jagged thoughts she hastily brushed aside, afraid that paying them any attention would be like planting seeds that would grow wild and unruly. Eventually she pinned down a reply, and it fought itself free, as if sensing that she would second-guess it, and bury it deep.
“You can take me to your favourite place here,” Sinopa said, glancing at him, before turning her back on the sea, dark eyes roving over the outskirts of the land he called home. She waited, her muzzle trailing through the air as she gestured for him to lead the way, putting her fears for her sister behind her, and leaving a little of her doubt on the sand to be carried away in the arms of the ocean.
s i n o p a
gettin’ lost in your mind
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