It had been a long, hard season. I hadn't seen much of anyone, holed up in my den as I was- mostly because I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Round, bloated, clumsy, all of these things were so unlike me. Hollowpoint had been doing his best to make me comfortable, and he knew more than anyone how much this whole ordeal had knocked me off my feet. I was wobbly, emotional, and terrified, both of the pain of birth and the aftermath of it. My soul reassured me again and again that we would be okay but I found it hard to believe. After all, where was my example of a normal family structure? I had my older brother and my sister, and that was it until we returned to Spirane. What if I couldn't figure out how to be a proper mother? I wanted to give our puppies a good life, but I was so scared...

As per my request, visits to my den by others except for Hollowpoint were few and infrequent. In the beginning of my pregnancy I had allowed myself to be seen outside the den, but after the bump in my sides had started to grow, I simply couldn't bring myself. I hated the snail's pace I was forced to walk at, and at times I viewed my bulging stomach as containing some kind of large parasitic worm, preventing me from doing anything fun or useful. I felt awful having my mate do all the hunting for the both of us, but what could I do? The rabbit would probably turn around and laugh at me for bumbling after it so slowly.

I huffed angrily, squirming around on the floor of the den and trying to get comfortable. If I laid on my sides I felt gross, or on my stomach, and if I laid on my back it was terribly embarrassing. I resorted to laying against the back wall of my den, balancing myself halfway between my side and my back.

Suddenly, and without warning, I felt tears burning at the back of my eyes. I didn't want to be fat and hormonal and irritated all the time, couldn't they just come already. "Hollowpoint?" I called, hoping that he was somewhere hovering outside of the den. Thankfully, he was supportive and all too loving while I was just a complete bitch. It wasn't completely my fault, but I made sure to apologize and thank him as much as I could. I just didn't know what I would have done without him.

haven.
but i couldn't read his handwriting so i burnt 'em last night