but tabari, as if it matters the way a man falls
The world came tumbling down around them. The smaller of the fillies stumbled, lost her footing, and as she fell to her knees, Tabari felt like he was falling too. But no, his legs, trembling though they were, kept him standing while the dark night sky seemed to spin above him. And then came a voice, sharp and threatening, and suddenly Yahir was squealing in pain and fright backing away from danger with an aching shoulder and fragile heart. And what little grasp of reality Tabari had left vanished, just like his ragged breath on the wind. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, he just needed to protect his brother. He hadn’t even touched the filly, and still, still he was too late. Yahir, as always, was the one who was beaten down. The dark young stallion sobbed, his heart breaking, because he would never be enough for his brother. He tried, again and again, and every time he failed.
“Please!” Yahir begged, voice strained, eyes rolling in fear. “We mean no harm! We will go, then, peacefully. Please, just let us leave.” The young filly seemed determined, though, when she spoke of claiming them, and when she went on to speak of the other mares, and what they would do, Yahir didn’t understand. If he and his brother were a threat, why keep them? “We won’t hurt you, we didn’t mean for her to slip.” A rare edge of anger laced his words, but he stumbled over them, regretting his tone. It would only make things worse if he showed aggression. But he couldn’t help it, not when another appeared, and got right in Tabari’s face. The younger stallion went for the older mare, not baring blunt teeth, but attempting to shove her away from his brother. “Can’t you see he’s struggling! Leave him alone! Don’t you dare threaten him, he’s lost, he was just trying to help me!”
Yahir was breathing raggedly, slightly favouring the shoulder where the dark filly’s hooves had caught him earlier, the muscle feeling bruised already. He turned, alarmed at the sound of yet another mare. (The black filly hadn’t been joking when she’d made her threat…) This one, at least, seemed willing to listen to reason, and Yahir felt his timpani heart stutter with relief. “I just… Please, we just came to visit a friend. But my brother, he’s not well, I shouldn’t have left him… I-I didn’t mean for her to get hurt. Let us leave, please, and we won’t bother you again.” There was a lump in his throat, and he swallowed, struggling to answer the Friesian mare’s second question. “I am Yahir, and my brother is Tabari. We were invited to visit…”
And there, slipping out of the darkness, came a familiar figure. Yahir, standing close to his brother, sighed with relief. “Ysabellanazeka, selamlar.” Surely everything would be okay now that their sister-friend was here. She spoke, and to begin with, her words soothed Yahir’s troubled heart, but then she spoke of his brother, and gentle, peaceful Yahir turned indignant. It had been foolish to come here. Perhaps Tabari’s distrust of all strangers wasn’t completely misplaced. To speak such things, not truly knowing Tabari… Maybe the horses here were no better than the ones they’d fled from home, after all. “His fear and aggression is not without cause,” he hissed, so far from the quiet and wise boy the Pirate Queen had met only a few days earlier. “He has suffered much because of me! He would have been King if he hadn’t risked his life to save mine, branded a traitor and outcast, chased into the badlands to die. I am all he has, don’t you understand? That is why he is the way he is. That, and them,” he jerked his muzzle in the direction of the fillies. “It was our sister who nearly killed me. He didn’t attack anyone. He was just defending me.” A pause, and he turned back to Ysabel, raising his head. “Bir hata , biz gelmiş olmalı asla.” The words were whispered and weighty, hanging heavy in the mountain air. He closed the distance between himself and his brother, supporting Tabari, as Tabari had always supported him.
With the familiar touch and scent of his brother comforting him, Tabari stirred, and shook himself free of his dark memories that seemed determined to dig their claws in deep. The fillies spoke again, and Tabari’s ears slicked back once more, as he all but snarled at them. “My brother belongs to no-one!” he snapped, body quivering with barely controlled anger. That was why he’d risked everything, braved the badlands and the biting waves of the sea, to ensure that his brother would have a better life, one free of boundaries, free of those putting themselves above Yahir, and looking down on him, because of all that he was and all that he was not. “I will stay, if you so desperately want me to, for whatever stupid reason, but you let my brother go. He did nothing and you attacked him.” He narrowed his eyes, glaring at the dark filly. “I will do whatever you want,” he conceded, silencing Yahir’s protest with a gentle snort. “But Yahir, he keeps his freedom. You’ve done enough to him.”
when the fall is all that is left, yahir, it matters very much
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