It infuriates me the way he sits there with that blithe expression like my words don't wound him. Like I don't mean anything to him. I know it makes me seem obsequious as I plead with him, practically fall to my paws to beg him for the chance to birth his children. In truth I don't WANT pups. They are a nuisance and against my delicate body they will surely cause me much discomfort. Could I die from having pups? I wasn't sure and it was a fear that haunted me, not that I would let on in these moments. I meant every word I said. I would forgo the herbs next winter. I would mate with him as often as he liked - and I did rather like it. If I grew fat well then so be it because I knew that Carnifex would be there by my side to keep me and his pups fed, to make sure that my needs were met. As beastly as he was at times, he knew how to take care of what was his, and I didn't complain from hunger anymore.

My ears snap back to my skull when he speaks of those devil spawn. My hackles rise against my neck and a low growl penetrates my sharp canines. If Taji brought her pup near me I would kill it. I would snap my jaws around it's neck and end that legacy right there. She did not deserve his children - his attentions. Just remembering he touched her, he slept with her, it pissed me off to no end. If Malum had not come that day I likely would have went haywire and assaulted my own sister in her den. Secretly I hoped she would be eaten by a bear, ravaged and her pup left to die. I was a bit melodramatic - so sue me!

It would be fruitless to argue with him on it. I keep my lips carefully shut even though my displeasure is evident in my agitated manner. Not that he CARED when I was mad. This caring thing was so difficult. It felt like hell to want something so bad and not be wanted back. "Back then it was my life at stake. Now it is just my heart, a far more valuable piece of me," I state back at him, my voice still fiery, but my eyes earnest. As if those words would make him believe. He had to say yes. He had to.

"If I do not have your pups by spring then I am barren and of no use to you anyways," I say stoutly, bravely. He could kill me - of that I was sure. But I was also certain that I could have his pups... whether I lived through it would be the question. Now get over here, he says, and I leap up and rush to him. I am so obvious, so translucent in my motives, my worry clouding my eyes as I come to his side and lean down to lick at his torn flesh. It tastes bitter and sweet like my beast. I will clean his wounds and then I would lie next to him, encased in his large figure and sure in my place by his side. Because I was damn well not leaving it while I breathed.