Over time Carnifex's wounds had begun to close but they weren't nearly to the point of healing that I wanted them to be. I feared that the marks of the cougar would forever flaw him. Not only that but my muzzle still bore a puckered scar from the claws and so did my hips. It bothered me to look upon them - reminders of the things I had almost lost. My life, for one, which was very important to me. And Carnifex. He had been running from me that night, furious at me. I had struck him and I had raged and I had run. I was so afraid he would leave me and he had. The cougar had taken a piece of us but left me with him and I couldn't say I wasn't grateful. The beast was in my clutches once more and I was poisoned by his toxic self. It was the kind of poisoned goblet that I drank from each and every day. Eager, always, for more.

I stood near the side of the river. All morning I had been searching up and down the banks for herbs and weeds and roots like Solitaire had taught me. I wanted to make sure that Carnifex healed complete before the start of winter. Me too for that matter since I would be carrying his pups. I gathered extra herbs to help relieve pain and aches and some that would help blood loss because I was terrified I might just die. Not that I told HIM that. He might think I was trying to shirk my duty once more. I would prove to him I was here and I would make him love me. The word mate had bobbed around in my head as of late but I knew he would never accept me, his beauty, until I bore his children. Once I got past that distasteful side then maybe he would see things MY way for once.

Already I was tired from my long morning, my gray jaw opening into a wide yawn and I bent down so that my butt was in the air, stretching my back and legs along the ground. It felt amazing, a relief, and I wanted to drop down to the ground right there but I had other things to do. I needed to get me a fish and fill my empty belly before I gathered all my herbs into a pelt I had brought to carry back with me. Carnifex might think I was being foolish - hell, he might even think I was planning ot lie to him again, but I would show him. I would heal us both and be fit and ready for winter. I grinned - winter was close.
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