Cold….

That was all he had known since she passed away. An endless cold and lonliness setting into his very being. He was empty… broken beyond repair. She wanted him to live on, be happy, but that felt impossible. All his children checked on him regularly since her death. It was nearly the end of summer a full two seasons since she finally passed away leaving him howling and struggling to even move with the tearing he felt from her soul parting ways with his. It was unfathomable being ripped apart and feeling this way. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even describe it in either of his languages this broken dark feeling that just wouldn’t go away. Moth was gone the grief still settling into him and never leaving. He knew he would never leave her… not ever. Maybe her spirit was still among them, that was the beliefs of the man but if it were truly that way why did he feel this way? Time was something he couldn’t protect her from, the only thing that could ever threaten to truly take her away. He couldn’t stop it even though he had been trying to prepare himself for years nothing could ever prepare anyone for the feeling he had when she exhaled her last breath and her eyes closed for the last time. Nothing.

Hell was probably a good word for what he survived. He wanted to die with her, and for a few days he thought he would. His children needed him, she wanted him to stay… that was the only thing that kept him clinging on to this world without her, shuddering in his den barely seeing the light of day just clinging to the last ounces of her scent that remained there. Sage… lavender the soft perfume of herbs she used during their earlier days together. Perhaps some might have thought him mad, but he wasn’t just broken and a shadow of the wolf he once was. He hadn’t even spoken in English since her demise. Reverting back to being nearly incapable of speaking the English tongue that Moth had slowly taught him over their time together. He didn’t need English though, all of his visitors where his children and grandchildren, all of them knew his native tongue and easily could converse with him. Slowly that language was slipping away again leaving him to lose those bits he had spent years slowly mastering gone in a matter of months.

Today though… something was strange. Something called him out of his den area for the first time in months that wasn’t simply food, he could feel it… them pushing him up and out of the den. His form was gaunt, much slimmer than it was in the old days, he still had a limp in his step as he left the den in search of whatever that called him. Fate’s weren’t done with him today, they wanted him to move. Always fate had an ulterior motive for doing things they did and as he hobbled his way slowly across the forest he thought he could smell something… familiar. It wasn’t Moth, but a friend, also dead and gone into the spirit realm to his knowledge… almost all of them were now. Sen, he had heard also passed, Hush was missing or perhaps gone as well then Fathom gone too after giving birth to her children she was forced to have… It was… Fathom he was sure of it. He moved towards the scent but he did not see her form, he didn’t see anyone in fact.

Dulled eyes scanned the forests he used to protect, and seeing nothing he took it as a sign that it was time to go back until he heard the rustling of paws on leaves. He stopped cream and brown form moving a bit further. Pushing bushes slowly out of the way of his lumbering form until he saw it. A puppy. Alone out here, fur black as night but silver and cold furs pricking up and eyes the same jade green as his fallen friend. Fathom and Moth were with him… and he felt like a fool for not ever believing that their spirits still guided him along. His eyes watered at the sight of the little glint of hope this child’s arrival had given him. His scent was mixed up and he could see him gazing back with wonder.

”I… sorry.” The brute said though I wasn’t to the child, it was to Moth and Fathom. He was doing them a great injustice these past few months. Hiding away and not believing they were still with him. He wanted them to forgive him. ”Little one… lost? Coza here. Take care of you… promise.” He said to him a soft smile coming to his maw with tear filled eyes. He wanted to help the little one, he didn’t know yet that he was lost, that he didn’t’ remember anything but in a few short days he would. Coza knew exactly what he would call him too. Cenmatl… Fathom in his native tongue. It was perfect for him. He knew she was blood in him and he would raise him as she wanted to have her own children raised.

It was time to live again. For Moth, Fathom, Cenmatl and his children and grandchildren…. He had let them all down and now it was time for him to make up for the time he had lost in doubt. Still his soul felt broken, but this was his first step towards slowly getting past having a shattered soul.