Each piece inside of me begins to unravel. I KNOW that is what is happening but damned if I can't make it stop. My lungs expand, I can see my sides pressing in and out and yet I don't feel as if there is air in there. Maybe it is too hot and I am burning alive from the inside out. I should feel stable with Guardian around even though I have no clue what he is to me. Only a calming influence and a rather large, handsome male, but I don't think in the same way as other females. If that isn't clear enough by my yelling and screaming and crazy antics. My fear drives me to such lengths because I am so confused. Of everything I heard I can't help but believe my Zeus because he has always been there for me. He was kind when no one else was, he told me how I was such a great help. Everyone else acted like I was a chore before. Admittedly, most of the wolves of Diveen hadn't bothered me in such a way - they hadn't made fun of me or tried to belittle me. I almost liked them, if I could like other wolves, but I felt shattered now, as if my loyalties were split. I wasn't sure what to believe but my loyalty was steadfast. It was just shaken, that is all.
It doesn't occur to me that Guardian was much larger than I, much more adept at fending off such violent advances. My mind has begun to sink to such depraved depths it is instinct that guides me, a fury flashing down my body in vibrations as I assault him, only hearing a blur of his drawled words. The stick, it flashes in my head, the way it was before and then the way it was after as they pulled that male from it. The almost sucking sound I thought I heard and the blood and... stuff, that clung to the stick like some gory trophy. It almost made me gag as I bite into his chest, picturing that I am biting into it, and I make a noise deep in my throat. Wouldn't it be something if I threw up on him? I bet he would back off then!
I ain't after yar babe. Maybe it is the word babe that catches my attention, pulling me a bit from the madness that grows and runs rampant through me and I blink into the fur of his chest. I don't move back until he presses his paw into my chest and pushes me back. My own body leans forward, nails digging into the earth, but he is a beast and I am a doll in his grasp. I obligingly open my mouth to release him, panting hard as I scramble back suddenly, maybe fast enough that he topples forward from the loss of steadying weight in front of him. Finally I catch his words and my ears flick back in chagrin, although I still pace so that the sunlight filters across my pale gray figure, illuminating the white markings that blend so well in. The truth, he says, and my steel gray eyes snap back to him as I snarl. It is more a way to protect myself, my mind seeming to tremble again, waiting to fracture.
Who is Voltaire? I look confused for a moment before figuring out that he was dead and so was that wolf so he likely IS that wolf. It is his next statement that sees me bark suddenly, trying to interrupt him.