"I don't know," the roan stallion said, but Conquistador could tell that Rade was lying even before his golden eyes dropped to the ground. It was written on the set of his mouth, in the way he spoke the words - too easily for a man with so much tension knotting the muscles in his shoulders. The younger stallion's own lips pulled downward, but he let the lie pass unchallenged. It is probably best, the boy thought to himself, though it pained him to think of Xina's worth being measured in - what? What kind of promises did the Lagoon deal in?
Rade was silent for an eternity, and the hard, emotionless mask that Conquistador's arrival had softened suddenly returned. I should kill him. This errant thought - born of either madness or grief - crossed Conquistador's mind. He's done so many wrongs. There are many who would thank me for it. But when the tawny palomino's teeth touched Rade's skin, it was only to loosen a burr that had become entangled in the base of his brother's creamy mane.
Once, Conquistador had been his father's son to the core. But now, knowing the kind of man that his father had been, and the self-proclaimed monster his brother was - the lines between right and wrong had blurred. Debonaire had been a good man at heart, but that had not prevented him from doing terrible things.
And his brother...there was a man beneath the monster. There was. Conquistador could see it now as Rade's skull lifted to expose another burr caught in the hollow of his throat, a moment of vulnerability as unexpected as it was precious. "Here, if you can reach that high, boy," Rade said gruffly, the straight line of his lips concealing a smile. "Damned if I know how it got there. I'd ask one of my brothers here to do me the favor, but there are some that'd take my throat with it." Though he suspected it was a joke, Conquistador could not laugh at the reminder of how truly dangerous the lifestyle his brother had chosen was.
Any moment could be their last.
"You'd do well here, you know," Rade said abruptly, the words vibrating his throat as Conquistador delicately plucked the burr in his lips and let it fall to the ground. But the boy did not answer his brother, and after a moment the roan stallion shrugged. Only in his brother's eyes could Conquistador see how much pain his silent denial had inflicted. The molten gold had cooled into amber, and then Rade glanced away.
"Well, a Boss's duties don't keep forever," the palomino roan said in a would-be casual tone, though his younger stallion could feel the jagged edges of Rade's hurt in his words, and hear the impending tears in his voice. He did not trust his own to whole steady, so he simply pressed his muzzle into the hollow behind Rade's shoulder and closed his eyes, exhaling softly into the warm golden skin. It felt as if Rade leaned into the touch for a fraction of a second, but Conquistador couldn't tell - and then his brother was pulling away, turning away.
"Well, think on what I said, kid. In the Lagoon, a man needn't stand on his own. He has brothers to share his strength... and his sorrows. But know that whatever you should choose, Conquistador.. I'll always be here if you need me." In the silence that followed, Conquistador heard what Rade could not say; what he would never be able to say - that his brother needed him. He reached out for the bachelor King again - seeking the comfort as much for himself as his brother - but before his lips could brush Rade's skin, the stallion had gone.
And Conquistador was left standing there, his muzzle outstretched, feeling so old and tired that his bones might crumble to dust.
RADE & CONQUISTADOR
children of the great empire |