Lost. It was one word that could be used to describe Ailith in these moments. Her sense of direction was gone and her mind was in shatters. There was very little her mind could grasp onto and hold onto: one was her pups, and the other was her missing Mars and Lennon. Mars had taken Lennon and disappeared after the death of Jaidah, and the white female's mind could not cope without the loss of him and her son, would not accept that they had left her and probably weren't coming back. She had scooped up her remaining children Qallupilluk and Eto and began to search for them, spending day and night traveling, perhaps even in circles, desperate and frantic. No longer was she able to remember her home, her other children, her friends, herself. Ailith pushed her children, but never forgot them in her insanity, remembering to feed them, love them, let them rest. Unfortunately her insanity was likely to wear off onto them, imprint into their minds and make them as mentally unstable as she and their father.

Any who laid eyes on the white woman, who knew her at some point, may not even recognize her any longer. Her once chilling, powerful blue gaze was now shattered and empty. Her once fit, muscular body was skinny and malnourished, for while she remembered to feed her children, perhaps weening them a bit early, she always forgot to feed herself. Her white fur was dirty and has lost it's healthy shine. She walked with a permanent limp, her hind leg bone unable to properly heal while she was captured after Mars had snapped it within his jaws to keep her from running off. She acted frantically and violently for no reason, even the way she talked had been changed from the mental trauma she had endured, the final push into insanity. No longer was she the strong assassin, nor the slightly depressed mother. The light in her had been completely snuffed out and it seemed an impossible task to even try and bring it back; some broken things can't be put together again, will always be broken.

Ailith didn't realize it, but she had wandered in circles, gradually getting farther from her old home and her only chance at being saved. She limped along, her pace quick and full of unnecessary turns, but one that allowed her growing children to keep up with her. Blue eyes always cast around to make sure that Eto and Pilluk remained close, to make sure they didn't need anything as she searched hopelessly for Mars and Lennon. At one point, she had thought about going back to the crags to wait for them to return, but she couldn't go back, mental images of a dead Jaidah haunted her there; Jaidah was white like her, and when she had found the white female's dead body it had ravaged her mind into believing that was her, that she was seeing herself bloody and dead at her own paws. She panted, her body unable to keep up with her mind anymore, unable to move in it's age and malnourished state. Sometimes, she would simply just collapse, her mind wanting to continue but her body unable and unwilling. She had spent those days curled up with her children, damaging their minds further by obsessively loving on them. In her mind, she knew she should be dead, would be better off dead, but just wouldn't die.

She moved down into the maze like system of the grotto, hearing the sound of water inside somewhere. She stopped to watch and make sure both of her pups made it as well, Pilluk stumbling and tumbling down but popping back up to show he was alright. When Eto was down as well, she moved, moved through the semi lit darkness until she found another entrance that held a large pool of water supplied by a waterfall that poured in. She wasted no time, practically collapsing into the water as she lapped it up, her body desperate. Her white son copied her, laying in the water like she did and attempting to drink, instead inhaling water and sneezing it out of his nose with a confused shake of his head. Pilluk was hungry, he craved the flesh of those for eating, having been taught how to eat normal prey and wolf alike; at one point, Ailith was desperate to feed her children and was forced to catch and kill a wolf pup she stumbled upon for them, her mind no longer sickened with the thought of eating her own kind after she had been forced to do so by Mars. Pilluk waddled off to explore as Ailith submerged herself in the water, cleaning off her fur in the process but simply liking the way it felt. She left the water just as suddenly, shaking her fur off before pacing back and force, claws clicking on the stone. She needed to find food. She needed to find Mars and Lennon. She needed to watch her children. It was all racing through her mind as she paced back and forth almost frantically, trying to settle her shattered mind enough to focus on one task.