Sorrow was not something that the female was knew to, but this was a different kind of pain, this was something that she had never felt before. Losing her brother had been one thing, he was not dead, just gone. Or at least as far as she knew he was not dead. He had decided that pack life was not for him and he had gone out on his own. Originally he had come and visited her and they had kept up a good relationship, but she had not seen him in years. She assumed he was still alive and well and had just gone on to make his own life, but really she could not be sure. And then there had been Chiron, her mate. Chenzii was not one to fall for every handsome brute that she met, but there had been something different about that chocolate brown male. He had given her promises of a lifetime together, and she had believed him. But then he had left her, not one but twice. She had somehow been able to forgive him and move and allow him back into her life, something that she now realized was a mistake. Chiron had come back to her in Aurora, telling her there were reasons why he had left, family emergencies and such, which she could understand. What she did not understand was why he did not tell her before he left. Did he not want her with him anymore? She would have left and gone with him, but he had not even told her. He had just disappeared and left her in the dark. And then he had just up and left again. Chenzii had no idea what had caused him to leave this time, but she knew that she would not allow him to come back into her life again. But there was still a part of her that loved him and hoped the best for him.
But the pain that was coursing through her body now was different. This was different than losing a brother or losing a mate. She had lost the ones that she had loved more than herself. The midnight colored femme had always wanted to be a mother, and she thought she was going to be when she was with Chiron, but that had not worked out. But then the time had come for her when there were two orphaned pups that her and Kalgalath had rescued from a murderous mother. Chenzii fell in love with the two pups as if they were her own, and she could not imagine her life without them. The first day that Vita had called her mom was one of the happiest of her life. Mortem, Vita’s brother, was more hesitant. He was quieter and to himself, but after time he opened up to Chenzii and the trio were inseparable. She did not know it was possible to love other beings the way that she loved her pups. She trained them and taught them how to be good vargs and to survive on their own, not because she did not want to take care of them but because she wanted them to be strong and healthy.
But her entire world had come crashing down. She never thought it would be possible, but she had lost them, both of them, her precious son and daughter. Her friend and packmate, Hellene, had told her about her daughter, Vita. Vita was so sweet and kind and had wanted to be a healer, so she was taking lessons with Hellene, a varg that Chenzii trusted wholeheartedly. But even Hellene, the most skilled healer in the pack, if not all of Blossom, was unable to save her daughter when she was bit by a dangerous and venomous snake. Apparently there was no antidote for this type of snake, and Chenzii did believe the healer and did not blame her for Vita’s death, but it did not lessen the pain that she felt. When Mortem found out about his sister’s death he had fled. The femme had tried to find him, to comfort him, for the two of them to grieve together. But she had not been able to find him and she could only assume now that he did not want to be found. She would not force herself upon him, but only hoped that if he should ever want her again that he would come back.
Chenzii’s thoughts were constantly going to her young that she had lost. What could she have done to save them? What did she do wrong? She had not slept well since she had lost them, their bodies no longer warming the den that was now too big for her single form. Really she was sleeping outside now, walking through the terra until she grew too exhausted to move and would fall into a fitful sleep wherever she was. The black femme was doing all she could to distract herself, doing constant border controls, talking to any that she ran into in hopes that it would take her mind off of what had happened. Today was no different, and she wandered through the trees, yellow orbs dull and lifeless as she limped about. Her limb that had been broken no longer pained her, but she would have a limp for the rest of her life. It did not slow her down though and she was still able to easily run and hunt, and she knew she was still capable of defending this pack and the rest of her family. She knew that if she was not still capable of such things that Kalgalath would not have named her Beta, one of the few things that still made her happy in life now.
As Chenzii was making her rounds, a howl caught her attention, and her audettes quickly picked up on the foreign vocals. She turned her form to go and see who had come to the borders, and what their business was with Aurora. As she pushed her way through the trees and saw the brute at the border, she took a moment to inhale his aroma, to see if there were any familiar scents upon his pelt. There was nothing familiar about him, no other packs within Blossom had their scent on him, so she could only assume that he was a complete stranger to these lands. Her yellow orbs took in his form, which did not appear to be hostile or threatening, and he had a fairly neutral look upon his face. She still watched him carefully, knowing that looks could always be deceiving. Her plume was raised high to show her rank, which she was proud to be the holder of. ”Hello, my name is Chenzii, Beta of Aurora Borealis. What is your name and business with this pack, if you please?” She was polite, as she was always was, hiding the pain that was still strongly making itself known to her under the surface.
"We were never meant to last," She whispers.
Picture and table credit to Shyan
{Chenzii} :: {Ess} :: {Adult} :: {Tied to ChironTied to None} :: {Adopted Mother to Vita and Mortem} :: {Beta of Aurora Borealis}
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