The male still did not understand what was going on between him and the female that was particularly close to him in his den. When she had first come here, it had been by trickery and against her will. But now they were talking about her leaving the pack on her own and coming back, as if she was any other member of the pack. But what was she now? She had come to the pack meeting, in an embarrassing way sure, but she had come and he had introduced her as the new healer. That meant that she wasn’t a slave to him anymore didn’t it? He had no idea what it meant or what he was supposed to do about it or with her. Was he supposed to let her go on her own? To potentially not come back? To potentially run into someone from her life in Saw Tooth and cause trouble for the pack? Did he care if either of those things happened? If she didn’t come back, would that matter? If other wolves came to get her, would that matter? Grey Wind didn’t know what he was supposed to think of any of this. All he knew was that if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want her to be gone. He had grown used to her company. She was the only real friend that he had now. Kershov was gone, other wolves that had been here before were gone, like Aerten. It felt weird to be an alpha of a pack and not have many within it to call friends.

Grey Wind kept this all to himself, not speaking his thoughts out loud to Macaria or to any of the others in the pack. Abendrot was not a pack that talked about their feelings and such things like that, nor did he want them to be a pack like that. He focused back on the female as she began speaking again, nodding her head furiously. "Of course not, master, but I will have to go far enough such that I get to other packs. I doubt many healers remain as loners base they are such a highly needed commodity in packs. I know that I am... Rather inadequate because of my incomplete knowledge, but I can learn!I swear I can, and when I return I will know more. I will go to every pack if I must in order to learn all that I can. " He didn’t like that she called him master, and h flinched at the word. He was beginning to see her as his equal, did she not feel the same? Was it because of how he had treated her before? That would make sense, but their relationship had been different lately. He knew that it was unrealistic for her to stay here and learn more to help the pack, but he was still unsure about the whole situation, but he kept his uncertainties to himself.

Grey Wind just grunted at her in response, knowing that he words were true but not knowing what else to say to her. He was surprised when she began to groom him, and his form stiffened. What did she really think of him? Why was she being nice to him like this after all that had happened between them? Did she forget what had gone on between them and what had brought them to these circumstances? Or was she just pretending that it hadn’t all happened? Didn’t she want to leave, to go and find he family and her old home, or did she now see Abendrot as her? And why was all of this bothering him so much and getting to him? A growl of annoyance at himself escaped him as he leapt to his paws when the female tried to nuzzle her head against him. Macaria’s form backed away from him quickly, eyes looking down to the ground. She shook her head from side to side, before slowly lifting her head. His yellow orbs glared into her own as she spoke. "Nothing is wrong, Grey. Why? Does something seem wrong? I just... Well you seem lonely. You never smile. I was just trying to make you smile. I am sorry if I offended you or did something wrong, I had never... Done anything before. I will not again."

Macaria’s words caught him off guard. Did others think that he was some pathetic lonely, sad being? Was he really as lonely as she made him sound? So what if he didn’t smile, what was there in life to smile about now? She was still naïve and lying to herself about the world if she had a lot of things in life to smile about. How did she not understand what he meant? How did she go from the fearful, clearly wanting to leave and miserable, to this female who wanted to stay with him and cuddle and groom him? Did she not see how weird it was? ”Don’t you want to leave?” Grey Wind was unsure of what he wanted the answer to be. Her form was now in the corner, curled up and away from him.