always and forever is forever young
your shadow on the pavement, the dark side of the sun
The paraffin lamp came apart disappointingly quickly. Recognising the simple mechanical structuring underneath, Mallos re-assembled it in half the time and picked up the device Croe had pushed over to him. His mobile phone. He’d already taken that apart so many times that the backing was scuffed all the way along the edge.

Even with his hands occupied, following the conversation was difficult. Croe made it easier by keeping her sentences short, but translation still slowed as other detailed jostled for attention. The bang of the stable door in the courtyard below the window was sharper, clearer. The paint at the edge of the ceiling was starting to flake slightly. The desk gleamed, recently polished, reflecting the amber glow from the steadily rising sun out of the window. Mallos flicked the plastic backing on and off his phone at a marvellous speed, creating a continuous click-click, click click noise more frequent than a ticking clock.

“What? No.” No was such a default answer when he was in this mood that he had to make himself stop and think about why. “They’d know.”

The phone backing groaned beneath his fingers and finally snapped clean in two, exposing the battery underneath. It shifted precariously in his hand, weakened by months of being clipped in and out of place. Mallos abandoned the phone on his desk and slumped down in his chair, leaning forward to rifle through his drawers. He was certain he’d been here when he’d received the package and absent-mindedly tossed it aside. Someone would have tidied it up, and… aha!

In the bottom drawer, he was rewarded with a package in loosely wrapped brown paper. A note scribbled on the top in Spanish read, This helps the kids. Ander. Mallos brushed aside the packaging, picked up the contents and set it down on his lap. The small plastic tub, still sealed, was brightly coloured and sporting the words Play-Doh. Mallos ripped off the seal, popped open the lead and tipped the contents into his hand.

Croe’s words took another second to register properly. Mallos pressed the putty against the desk with a little more force than he’d intended.

“I won’t let them touch you,” he asserted, although his voice lacked the usual dismissive confidence. You won’t be able to do anything for her if you’re on Earth at the time, the little voice in the back of his head said slyly.

He rolled the Play-Doh between his hand and the desk, creating a perfect ball.

“Help me by living,” he muttered, flattening the ball between his hands. “Whatever that takes. Be alive when I come back for you.”

i can feel you in the silence saying, “let forever be,
love, and only love, will set you free.”