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tiny gifts to a lonely god

 photo balloons2_zpst1dtukft.jpg

My wait for the ice king was not long. My first sign of him was the sharp stench of blood. It was a smell I had been a bit deprived of recently. I inhaled deeply without turning to face the brute as my lids slid closed. I held the air in, savoring the metallic odor. It made me wish I'd been there. Sure I liked to keep the peace, same as anyone, but there's just something irresistible about the hunt. Something that made me crave it. I always did enjoy sinking my fangs into flesh and feeling the life leave my victim. Perhaps it wasn't so different when the target was another wolf? Perhaps, but I had no wish to find out.

My optics were still closed lightly as the twig snapped as Tamlin always made one do. He had a habit of letting you know he was there just before you could see him. One corner of my mouth moved up such a slight bit that I didn't know if even the stallion would notice, though no one could read my body better than he. Even without opening my eyes, I felt the alpha's gaze on me, roving over my entire frame. I felt his worry too, his veiled concern. I'd been here long enough that I'd learned to read him pretty well, too.

This brought my mind back to the past. The time when I had come to this humble pack, the first time I had laid my luminaries on Tamlin, flashed in my mind's eye. I was so much smaller, so much younger then. A mere teen. I had aged quite a bit in my time here. Back then I had been scared of just about everyone and everything. I had come to Bright Moon seeking shelter. I had been so closed off, burying every emotion as deep down as I possibly could. I remember the precise moment that my eyes had taken in the monarch. I couldn't look away, partly out of fear of exposing my back to a stranger and partly because of his glory. Sure, Tamlin was just another wolf but there was something strong and solid about him, something that I had needed and had instantly clang to. I still remember thinking in that instant that he was everything I ever hoped to be. Ever since he took me in I've changed for the better. In more ways than one, Tamlin saved me. In my opinion, I was forever in debt to him and, strangely, I had no problem with that.

I was pulled back to the present by the soft rumble of Tamlin's lyrics. During my little blast to the past, the corner of my maw that had pulled up before had raised even more. A contented sigh eased from my larynx as the memory faded to the back of my mind. Slowly, my gazers slid back open and found the alabaster form of my regal. I had heard his words, yes, but still I remained silent. My mismatched stare steadily held his navy seers. After I let the silence grow just a bit larger than perhaps I should have, my voice came. "Oh, Tamlin, I missed you. I love you. I shouldn't have gone. I think I'm going crazy, Tammy.." My voice was scratchy from disuse over my absence as the words trickled faintly out. Still the little nickname managed to be warm and tender. Once I realized what I had said, I blinked a few quick times in shock. That had not been at all what I was intending to say. Despite that fact, I still didn't move or say anything else. I just went back to holding that deep blue gaze of his.

I wondered if he already knew the truth of my words even before I had voiced them.


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