This feeling was terrible.

It was raining today, an ill omen? Or perhaps the sky was simply matching the feelings she was currently feeling. Not that the sky listened to her whims, title of goddess or no, Zelda was just as normal as the rest of them. Normal, ordinary. She had such big paws to fill, and she wasn’t able to do it. She was trying working so hard. Her grandfather even said if someone came calling her to battle he would do it and that did not help her confidence. The forest guardians of the past always fought their own battles, it made her feel weak knowing she still wasn’t capable. Train as she may she knew she was having a late start to her duties. Zelda was working tirelessly to make up for them in any which way she could. Sending lots of diplomatic missions, handling smaller things on her own when she could. Really though she couldn’t ignore the gaping fact that she wasn’t ready to fight. Not yet. Training with Tithe gave her the foundation to get herself started on, but she needed more… She needed to click and move. Really she wasn’t sure if she could draw wolf blood if it came to it. She wouldn’t even touch her teeth to Tithe. She felt this way so strongly in fact she felt like a liability with her current request of her members. It was time to start helping Moladion in getting rid of those demons.

However a deep rooted guilt was in her. She wasn’t going with her warriors and hunters. It made her feel more pathetic, more the coward. She wanted to help them, be with them and instead soon she would be seeing them off on a hunt where they could get wounded, killed even if they were not careful… Zelda though promised to them that she would heal them once they returned, personally. She had learned healing at a young age from her mother of course it was a gentle and safe profession, one her grandfather and uncle encouraged of her. Perhaps her father would have encouraged her differently seeing both the males and females of his family battled. Still it felt so wrong to send them off to this, but she didn’t want to be a liability, the reason they got hurt. She understood her own weakness and didn’t want others to get hurt protecting her so… she would stay home. Just like she had told Ceres too, and Teza when he wanted to go. It was sad that she lumped herself in with children, but she felt she was the same way. Her reasons were luculent, perfectly placed in her mind so that she knew she was right in doing this but it didn’t make her feel any better.

It was so hard to believe in herself. A sad state when she had handled the situation with Aranck so well she thought. But that was a different part of leadership. She could do one thing but not the other almost more important one. She had no one she wanted to lean on for it. Hyrule had been that one, the one she would help and aide when she could if a challenge or fight were to happen, but perhaps that too was foolish of the young wolfess. She simply thought he would always be there for her, and she knew in spirit he was. It had been hard for him to leave, she knew it had been. He loved her, he said it and she loved him yet they had to go on different paths. Perhaps she should have taken more from her mother and what happened between her and her father. Even those that love us can wander away on their own missions. It made her more hesitant to reach out again, the sting was still there and perhaps it would never leave. She sighed the cool fall rain now picking up, a rumble of thunder rolling over her forest realm. Some days it was hard to continue being positive, being light and happy despite her inner storm of emotions, but she had to try for them if nothing else. That’s what she kept telling herself. So many were depending on her, she had to keep going.