The familiarity between them was a comfort and she clung to it, even as she thought back to their first meeting. Hadn’t she told him then that her decisions were none of his business? How far they had come - she recalled screaming in fear when he’d lunged for her on that day, and how that was the day she had committed herself to him. As much as he was her protector, she was meant to be his healer, even if he didn’t realize that yet. The thought that he was willing to give it because of some misconception in his head was gut-wrenching, and it only fueled her forward into her rant.

He finally met her eye, a familiar smirk growing on his kissers and relief floored her, only to be replaced with exasperation as he spoke. Akuji was falling back onto his old taunts and Katia leveled him with an unimpressed stare - he’d used these so many times when they first started out together that his words rolled off her back with ease. He turned his back on her as she began to speak, doing nothing but fueling her forward. Akuji thought himself some type of monster, with no feelings or heart to speak of. Katia had thought so once, only to be proved wrong by the beast himself. He could lie and say he worried why she wasn’t at pack meetings or that sleeping by her side all those nights was simply because he was her guard, but Katia was no fool, especially in matters of the heart.

His laughter cut through the air, as sharp and as the words he followed it with. Akuji did not often raise his voice at her and something in her wavered as he did so, but she held steady, jaw clenched and shoulders set. There was something akin to fury bubbling underneath, an odd emotional mix of devotion and rage that confused her and comforted her all in the same. As she plowed on, he was still. As she fell silent, question lingering, he responded. His words had a different bite to them now, and a manner that told her it was actually her beast speaking, not the harsh mask that he wore to drive her away. As much as she was pouring out her heart to him, he was spilling his own thoughts to her and she listened closely, too aware that this very well could be the last time he did such a thing. Her words provoked reaction, and she confessed what had hung heavy on her heart the past weeks.

There was something different about him as it hung in the air. The fight, the taunting, the mask she knew so well, had disappeared. There was quiet, she supposed. For a brief moment, she felt the rejection as if he’d stabbed her in the chest. Then he spoke: ”You must be mistaken. No one can love a beast.” Katia was dumbfounded, mismatched eyes peering at him incredulously. ”Oh for the love of Tor!” Her words were exasperated and she shook her head at him, laughter bubbling out in a short burst. ”How thickheaded can you be?” she wondered aloud, taking a few steps closer. She took a slow breath to bring herself back. ”Akuji,” she said softly, all traces of her incredulous amusement gone. ”I have known who and what you are since the day you brought me back to Cold Summers. I have never asked you to throw away that part of yourself, to hide who you are from me. You have been my beast as much as you have been my protector, and you are foolish to think that I do not care for both parts equally. When has my judgement ever been as wrong as you think it is now? I take careful consideration, I don’t just rush into things - besides, perhaps, trying to kill your sire but extenuating circumstances call for action.”

She gave a wry grin and a shrug of her shoulders, taking a few steps closer.”I knew when I started falling for you, and I didn’t stop myself.” She paused again, painful words lurking on her tongue. Katia knew she needed to say them, and forced herself to after a moment of silence. ”If you don’t feel the same, I’m not going to force my will on you - not that I could, even if I wanted to. We will go our.. separate ways and...” her words stammered here, the concept of being away from him after all this time a foreign and awful one. ”And that will be the end of it. Your healing and happiness has always been my priority, and that will not change. But no matter how far you travel or how much time passes, you will always hold my heart - that, I swear to you, will never change.” She fell silent, refusing to look at him now. Katia would let him be free, would not bother him again if that’s what he truly wanted, but he had ingrained himself into who she was. Without him, she doubted she would have the courage or patience or backbone she did now.

Perhaps he was right, though. Perhaps there was nothing in this for him except that he was her protector and she was his charge. It would be a blow like no other, and she was not foolish enough to think she wouldn’t be wrecked afterwards. Still, she would accept his honest answer, whatever that was.