She could feel it, the shadow had been lifted from her vision, deep within her bones she could sense the absence of the monster who had plagued her body and her nightmares. Her father had not told her and yet he had not needed to, a single glance passed between violet and copper eyes had solidified what the woman had already known to be true. Despite her reclusiveness, even more apparent know than it had been before, Ehiyeh felt a longing in her heart for something, the same kind of something that scarred male had imparted upon her. Control, perhaps, ownership. The very fantasy of it made her feel feverish and sick and so she needed to shake the thoughts away before she became some corrupt and wanton being. She was not a hedonist, her pups would never see a father and thus she must be their support. There was no room for gallivanting about trying to fix what had been broken in her head.

Her father had taken her pups for an outing today, and the den was empty. She thought forlornly of her trophies, the ones she had scattered across the sands to be swept away by the ocean- as she glanced around her cavernous den she could remember where each one had sat before their eyes had become accusing and their mouths had spoken lies and other terrible things. Her heart ached dully and she shook her head as if trying to clear it, before pushing herself to her feet and ambling outside, her body desiring the sunlight even though she shied from it. Ehiyeh raised her head against the breeze, letting the salty air tousle her fur as she breathed in deep the scents of her home.

"Ego tam multa arcana." She murmured quietly to herself as she moved to walk down the shoreline. She had taken to speaking more in Latin these days, especially when in her own company or that of her pups. They needed to learn this tongue as well, their entire family knew it and they would certainly stick out for not understanding. It certainly would not hurt them to know it. Ehiyeh glanced upwards, squinting her violet gaze against the sunlight. "Si quis autem diebus omnibus non erumpunt."

Not only must she lie to her children about the nature of their conception, at night she needed to lie even to herself, to pretend the pups at her side were born of some wandering vagabond who had managed to woo her and then slip away. She had been thinking lately, too, of the incident in Taviora some years ago now... the wolf she had poisoned, Amoxtli. There had been sorrowful songs of death and remembrance threading through the air these past seasons and Ehiyeh could only hope that he had not been amongst the deceased. That was long ago, now, and the fear of being sniffed out was all but gone from her mind. She felt only guilt, but it did not last long- it could not. The shadows that lingered so close to her forbade any thought but the thought of that night, the thought of that pallid face and his creeping, shuddering cries.

Ehiyeh let out a heavy breath as she crested one of the dunes that marked a passage into the more wooded areas of Glorall. Yes, one of these days she would burst. Her mind felt taut, like her stomach had in the days before giving birth, and with each additional thought her skull seemed to constrict around her brain as if the thing itself was swelling. She felt sick, wrong in the head- but she could not be weak, not when her children still relied on her. Perhaps she would hunt for them today, even though the thought of what was once her favorite activity caused her to almost physically recoil.