As Katia stared at the ginger male, she could only think of how this was so them. Why wouldn’t her declaration of love be met with an argument? They had been through so much together, and he was the only soul she trusted with the entirety of her own. Yet they always fell back into their old pattern; he’d always say he was a monster and that she should stay away, and Katia would always refuse to believe him. Akuji had always had some sway over her, and always would - not because of how she felt about him, but because his judgement was usually good and his experience backed him - but he would not move her on this. Her heart could not be swayed by his words, whatever he might say. It had belonged to him for far too long and been beaten far too many times to be pliable. Even as the only constant in her life tried to tear himself away from her, it continued a lively beat in her chest. Akuji had the power to absolutely wreck her, and if he did all she could do was continue on - that was Katia’s superpower, to keep going.

Her use of the Goddess’ name brought forth a strange reaction from Akuji, one that caused the goldenblood to narrow her eyes slightly. They must have made quite the sight, with her every step forward met by one of his backwards. It was the same dance they’d gone through since they met each other, but the tables had turned; rather than Katia being a nervous wreck, Akuji’s expression was that of a cornered animal and she feared he would bolt the second she gave him a chance. She came to a halt, and was relieved when he did as well. Her attempt at humor fell flat, and Katia feared she had lost him when he bristled and began to move away again. Two sets of paws moved in tandem - his backing away, and hers pushing forward. His words were exactly what she expected him to say and she shook her head, wishing she knew how to convey that she might love him, love both the man and the beast, but her feelings did not blind her to the truth of his inner demon. She could love it, but she would never trust it.

Her next words left a sick feeling in her stomach and an acidic taste on her tongue. After all the loss she’d experienced in her life, she feared that his would be the one that left her ruined. He was not her sunshine or the light of her life, but he was more than that. He was her sword and shield, her beast, her closest confidant. He was her sun, moon, and all of her stars - and that was, frankly, terrifying. He was the only person in the entire world that she felt she could trust, could allow access to the best and worst parts of her, and the thought of losing him left her feeling shaky. The sound of his gasp brought her attention to him, dual-colored eyes scanning his face worriedly. He spoke moments later, words that Katia didn’t want to hear spilling from his mouth. She wanted to tell him fate could screw off, that it had already had a big enough impact on her life that it couldn’t touch her anymore. She wanted to say that her fate was at his side, but there was defeat in Akuji’s voice, and she knew the bell was tolling.

His voice wavered in a way it never had when he broke the silence again, though Katia couldn’t bear to look at him. It was a knife to the chest, and Katia was afraid she’d fall apart completely if she had to watch him leave. The sound of his footsteps was loud, and Katia stared at the ground between her paws with blurry eyes, biting her tongue to keep the tears from falling. She heard him stop suddenly, her heart seizing in her chest before it continued to beat out an unsteady rhythm. She didn’t dare to look up, to wonder why he’d stopped. The silence was deafening, and Katia wondered if Akuji knew the torture he was putting her through at this moment. His voice cut through the air again and she finally dared to lift her crown, trying her best to keep her face expressionless. There was guilt in this leaving, she had heard it in his wavering voice as he’d turned to depart. There was no need for her to make things harder for him than they already were. She swallowed thickly before answering, trying to keep the sound of her tears out of her voice.

”Yes?”