there is no greater pain
or punishment than memory

Simply shifting from pheonix to fae form had gained applause from Eselda, and the gesture warmed Quinn. It was hard not to like the sweet nature of the child, but even so, there was a part of himself that hurt for the losses he had endured with his own children over the years. Things never seemed to add up or go the way that he planned, and even the time things had nearly worked out on the family front, the whole thing felt a little empty to him. Distant, because something hadn't been right there. Actually, a lot of things hadn't been right, and there was a lot of self blame for it. Not on purpose, however, no. Quinn hadn't known how messed up things had gotten, didn't realize the golem among them.

He should have seen it, should have noticed, but he hadn't wanted to. He had wanted to believe things were okay, that it was fine. But he had felt it deep down that not everything had been. Feelings that he had pushed away because he hadn't wished to feel them. Didn't want them to get in the way. In the end, however, that was exactly what they had done. It had driven a wedge between them all, even before he had known what was really going on. He let the thoughts fade, listening to what Eselda was saying to her robin, and then to him. She liked his pheonix form, thought it was pretty. Quinn smiled at her. He wasn't about to sully her thoughts on it by telling her how much of a curse it really was.

And now Aura probably had a little more understanding on the conversations they had spoken of before. Maybe. He listens vaguely to them speaking with each other now, figuring that it was nearly time to take his leave to let them do the whole family bonding thing. Because Eselda was learning that Aura was her grandmother, and the excitement of the child had caused Lucie to perch on Quinn; probably because he was more steady at the moment. Now there was hugging going on, and Quinn took a few steps back from them, because it did look like maybe it was that time to go on and find something else to do. Everything here was more calm, and although he had questions, he kept them to himself for now.