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Posted on October 2, 2017 at 09:25:34 AM by TARQUiN
Quinn couldn't say the same that nowhere had felt like home to him, because that wasn't the case. He couldn't say that there were many times where he had felt like any place was really home, but he had felt like that in one of those caves they'd made. It was all done up they way they'd wanted it in the forest with a waterfall and everything. Those days felt like they had been so brief, but he knew there had been a good bit of time spent there. He'd made mistakes there just like he made them anywhere, but that was the place where he had really, really tried to be monogamous. Where he had struggled with all those inner demons of it, where he felt like he could, like what he had was all that he needed.
And then he had found himself alone again, and he'd broken down and things had gone from bad to worse and the cycle started all over again. Maybe that had been a breaking point that Quinn had not known how to really get over. There had been a lot said and done back then, and he thinks that something within him had been broken during that time. It had set the rest of it in motion, just because of all he had been willing to give up and finding that it still hadn't seemed to be enough. He thinks that it might have taught him that there was no direction that he could go, no path to turn to that would make any difference. He had shown everything in that time; laid it all out and bare and it still fell apart.
There was fear in that, though. Quinn had never opened up quite that much, that far, to someone else. Not into the deeper darker parts of himself that he had laid out for Echidna in those days. He doesn't know what it changed for him down along the line, but he knows that something snapped, but what could he really say about all of that now? He had done things that he couldn't take back after it all, and it's left him here and now and not knowing who he was. Trying to piece himself together from all that he's gone through since those days, and wishing that he could backtrack through his life and unravel where all those turning points were that made him end up like this. Feeling like someone he doesn't know.
He shouldn't be thinking about those things right now, though. About the stuff he could do so little about; he could have this bright spot in his life for now and go with it as he sorted himself out. He could do both, have both, right? He shifts focus on powers and abilities, the talk about other forms and he has to lift an eyebrow when she tells him that she could see him as a leopard seal and he scoffs lightly. "Picturing me rolling around on the ice with flippers, are you?" He grins at the thought and shakes his head; it hadn't been his thing, not really. He'd maybe used the form twice, just to try it out. The elephant, though, that had come in handy in war. "It was a war form. Big, tank-like." And he shrugs.
The elephant shift had served it's purpose, and it hadn't been that bad, really. Not one that he had to go play with again, but that didn't diminish what it had been for him once. Echidna growled and Quinn rumbled back, just as playfully as the sound could be, and she was licking his hand and telling him that he just did not look like the elephant type. "Not usually, no. But it can make war easier, at times." He pauses, thinks it over for a moment. "Though I have to say the crocodile thing? Makes a lot of sense for you. Thick skin, lots of teeth, cold blooded. Also built like a tank, honestly." He points this out, looking amused. But Echidna was already speaking again, as well as butterfly catching. Those words made him nod. "Guess that means I'm some sort of 'thing', too." But he isn't sure it bothers him to be that.
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