She was an adult now, well past her first year of maturity, and yet the scorn of her mother would always be something she feared. No matter if that mother was smaller than she. And so she was hesitant to divulge such sinful information to the one being who could make or break her. Malleah’s demanding tone had her continuing with her explanation and soon wanted to know every detail - exactly what she had done to deserve self-banishment.
A sharp inhale is drawn through the girl’s nostrils as her deep wine colored eyes look back up to the vivid red-pink of her dam’s. ”I never wanted you to know because first and foremost… you are a mother. I know that you love me and that love is solely because of the fact that we share the bond that only a mother and daughter could,” her voice finds some resolve as she continues. ”I was the one who severed that bond many, many times,” she pauses to assess Malleah’s reaction, takes a breath, and continues. ”It was for survival… they were easy prey when nothing else was around and their parents were away hunting or something. It was almost too easy sometimes.” Her deep hued eyes seem to glaze over at the memories that resurface at the thought of her first few kills.
”I was starving and out there, in the north, there wasn’t much to live off of. I became desperate. I was lost and eventually became even more so in more ways than one. I started to… enjoy it - the feeling that I got when my hunt began. Sometimes I would even skip a perfectly good opportunity for gull or a random carcass just to hold out for a chance at finding some motherless pup to devour,” her voice darkens toward the end, fading out as she tries to ignore what horrible reaction Malleah could possibly be giving her at this point.
”It’s too late for me now. It’s nearly consumed my mind. Does that make me inherently evil?” she asks of her beloved mother in a softened tone as she peers downward for a moment before looking back to her. Exodus seemed to think it was true, judging by his face when had seen her that day with Sekhmet. But part of her believes that there is still some light within the darkness that fills up her soul - she just needs to know if her mother believes in it too.