He… he had to talk a walk… to leave. Just for some air, just for a bit.
He could’t explain it… something was wrong he thought. His father had told him about his family, the Aztec’s how they shouldn’t hurt other wolves, they should protect those they loved and those that were around them, that was the only time they should fight or even try to hurt others. Then what was this curiosity that welled up inside of him. Why was it okay to hunt and kill prey, but not to hurt other wolves? Why were they not protecting the prey as they did the wolves? Hemlock had a hard time seeing the difference between his life and that of a deer or rabbit or whatever else he was being given nowadays to eat. He felt… wrong and he had no way to tell his parents or siblings. No one knew… no one understood and he felt sick feeling this way. It was wrong he knew that much, then again, they had wolves in the pack, ‘cannibals’ they were apparently called that ate the flesh of other wolves. Why were they allowed but he was forbidden from it? It only confused him further. He was so curious to taste what wolf flesh was, but everything his father had taught him told him it was very bad to hurt others. Maybe if he just… found a dead wolf… he wouldn’t hurt anyone then and he could sate his curiosity… but what were the chances of just finding a dead wolf out there.
One thing was for sure, the dark thoughts of taking a bite out of someone in the pack were growing. He wouldn’t kill them, he just wanted to try, but that was so… wrong and he knew it. It made him sick to his stomach that he wanted to know so badly but… he shuddered at the thought of actually going against his family’s will, his teachings. He didn’t WANT to feel this way he was just… overwhelmed. He had to leave the pack to get some air. Seeing all those other wolves just tempted him and tortured him further…. What was more was there was no way to express these feelings to anyone else.
He was locked in all alone with nowhere to go and no one to vent to. The ultimate hell.
All the monsters his family in Taviora, his father, and mother wanted to protect the pack against… the ones they hunted down and threw in pits… he was one of them… right in front of their very eyes he was the monster he was supposed to be protecting the world against. He knew it. This was how they were right? They wanted to eat wolf flesh right? He just wanted it all to stop… He stopped his walking, his bright marbled green gaze looking up to the sky as the first flakes of snow started to fall. He stuck his tongue out, letting the flakes touch his tongue, but it was just so… unsatisfying. Just like what his parents brought home. Little did he know a wolf was hunting the very quarry he was curious about close by while he was silently pondering how monsterous he-himself was.