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Honest question

I know Iím not the only one who gravitated to this sport because of anger. Anyone ever have it finally stop? Not like a good month or anything, but really, finally be at peace. The drugs have always been beautiful in the mix. At least then I could just become drunk with all of it; the anger, the hostility, the power and release of strength. Iíve done counseling, Iíve stepped away, Iíve ended a horrible marriage, but it doesnít matter. Then the worst part, I find myself motivated and almost happy when Iím fucking pissed. I have to assume this is going to end life short for me if I donít find something to fundamentally alter my personality. Iíve got kids, and Iím good to them, but I worry now about being around to watch them grow as men. I guess Iím just wondering if anything has ever helped any of you? And no...weed doesnít fix it, antidepressants, or alcohol.


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