I MUST ISOLATE YOU

isolate and save you from yourself

He shook his head, offering her a sort of half-smile that seemed a bit out of place on his typically gruff and hardened exterior. Janus didn't know how to deal with the fact that his real mother was dead, and that the life he had led up until this point could have turned out much differently. His brother had thought him a ghost, anyway, and so that's what he had become-- some hulking specter deep within the caves, living amongst bats and rats and fungus. But Aine didn't belong here. She was sunny and bright and deserved a life led in the sunlight. What did he deserve? He just didn't know. "It's okay. You're better off up in the mountains, so long as they're taking care of you right." Maybe they just had different outlooks on the whole situation, she didn't remember as much as he did. That was probably for the better.

Listening to the whereabouts of his adoptive sibling gave him a bitter taste in his mouth. Janus knew he should care about her, that he should care about them all, but he felt like he'd been lied to. There was always a sense of not belonging but he'd never known why, and it was only until Cato saw him that everything came flooding back. Should he go to Taviora, meet the father he'd known but never really had? Should he stay in Spirane with the family who raised him? His head was swimming, and he couldn't make sense of it all. Nothing made sense.

"That's good." He said, his voice gruff, the confusion he felt lacing his tones. "I'll make my way back, eventually." It was an empty gesture, because they both knew that perhaps he never would ascend the slopes of Spirane again. There was a sense of guilt that accompanied the feeling, as he felt he owed his adoptive family more than that, but he couldn't bring himself to face them. His brow furrowed and he sighed, looking at Aine with a hopeless expression. Her question was somewhat expected-- she'd always seen right through him. If only he could explain what he felt without sounding like an ungrateful, insolent child.

Janus huffed lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's... not easy, remembering everything. You should be glad that you don't, Aine." He turned his head away, staring down at the rocky ground. "It's like the life I've been living up until now has been a complete lie. I'm not who I thought I was. Everything feels so... different." And he hated it, down to his very core.

ROMAN x MORRIGAN | PROTECTOR OF NONE | MARTYR FOR NONE | AINE'S GUARDIAN