How dare he? He had said that I hadn't taught Xerxes to fight! It was true - I hadn't, but I had went to Asteraia with him because he had said his brother would keep us safe. Look what happened - Halcyon and Aster had abandoned Asteraia and left that king in charge, who then went and pissed off someone who actually was doing bad things unlike Aster had done. It was all confusing and frustrating but more than anything, I was hurt. Stung that my mate would blame things on me. Fenyang had stepped into try and calm us but I had stared at Viserys with a fury and a sort of hatred that one should never feel for their mate before I had taken off. Just turned tail and ran like a bat out of hell.

I was not called a windwalker for nothing. The time spent in Asteraia had not completely wrecked me as the open fields gave me more than enough room to exercise. I flew across the land, paw pads hardly touching the earth as I headed off to do something rash. Something reckless and stupid but my grief demanded it. Kill the wolf who had done it. Kill them, avenge my son. My beautiful, sweet Xerxes. Truth was, I was blind to the jealousy that Fenyang often felt, and I hadn't been an observant parent like my mother. I cried out to her as I ran, too, wondering why me.

Why, why, why.

When I ended up on the doorstep of Iromar and issued my challenge, I fully intended to kill. When that bastard male had taunted me before sending out a white she-devil with poison green eyes. That is what my beautiful son looked upon as he died. The fight had been vicious. I wasn't a skilled fighter but my fury is what pushed me to the edge. At one point she went for my tail, managing to snap the tip and bite it clean off. Not clean, really, but I had spun around and managed to tear into her ear before dragging fangs down the edge of her jaw. I left a few other wounds and she did too, my side and hips cut up from bites and claws, but I realized rather swiftly that even if I killed her that the watching male would come after me.

It is why I finally abandoned my fight and took off to the north, tail dripping blood behind me. By the time I find myself traipsing into Taviora, a full twenty four hours has passed since I found my son. Longer than that. I had fought with Eve on the cusp of dusk and between having to stop and rest my over-tired legs and sore body, I was fast losing everything. My energy, my mind, my will. My control on my grief. I wept as I walked beneath the canopy of Taviora, the sun having risen once more and settled into the crook of the sky. The birds sang like it was a happy day but it wasn't. It was a second day without my son.

Suddenly I scream... or howl.. or both. I can't tell. I call for my brother or brothers. Someone to come, to help me, to make things right. The tip of my tail has clotted but the wound throbs as it brushes against my legs with each movement and the bites on my hip sting as I tear them open over and over again as I stretch my legs. But if I stop now I will collapse. My lower lip is sore where her teeth had caught it when I bit at her face, split open about an inch and caked with dried blood.