I liked to think that being a mother had tempered my ferocity. My eyes skitter to the scar upon his shoulder, one that I had left there in my haste for fury and fire. Still, I can't help but feel that inexorable burning beneath my skin. The need to lash out at something in this world to make things settle into their rightful place. His smirk causes my tail to lash against my legs in an almost catlike manner, ears folding back slightly as I narrow my eyes upon him. Elohim floated upon the wind towards disaster and destruction. I don't think he even realized how he orbited chaos but I had noticed. Noticed the way he always seemed to turn up in such moments and when things settled, well, he was left unsatisfied.

Still, how well do we really KNOW each other? I had turned from my Chancellor into the paws of my mate and I wonder... I wonder at his derision for Halcyon, if he feels jealousy or a sense of triumph in my struggle. As if it would prove that I should have chosen him. The very idea makes me want to gnash my teeth and snarl, a spitting creature. It makes my sharp words easier to bear as I deliver them, an executioner with my proverbial axe. I held no power any more - not over lands, not over Elohim. What did my word measure to now?

"That is not how I meant it," I inveighed, a growl of frustration in my voice, his words mocking almost. Fool - the very word makes me growl aloud now. "What would you do, Elohim?" I fairly spit the words - he seemed to think himself smarter. Grander. Perhaps his aplomb would be the right way, but I was too invested to acknowledge there could be other possibilities. He draws closer, his silken words whispering around us, and my breath sharpens as if blades strike my lungs.

It is a backwards sort of compliment to me. I had failed as a ruler. Even now, the Shadow King of the moorlands rules absolute and yet here I was, loser of Asteraia. Honesty. He wanted honesty. "Your tongue is that of snakes too," I hiss at him. I am angry with him because he challenges me but also because I am just angry to begin with and Elohim has always been an eager target. Still, I pull myself back with a snap of my teeth and a sigh between them that becomes a whistle of sorts. "I am.. sorry." The words come out stilted as I try to reign myself in, to calm myself, my eyes closing for a moment as I measure my breathes. "I have failed in almost everything I have ever done. I do not wish to be a failure to my children too." The words are spoken softly, mournfully. How was that for truth?