| | To Love Is To Destroy
He understood her pain more than she would ever be able to understand. He had been born with a heart he wasn't intended to have. A heart that his father spent every waking moment trying to silence. In his world, he was a giant, a gladiator of a wolf created to be the ultimate warrior, and weapon. Archangel had stood among his comrads like a beacon of power. He had been unbeatable, though not untouchable. And he had the physical scars to prove it. But no one had ever seen the mental scars, nor did they care to. The scars of a pup, a teen, who wanted no more than to love and be loved. But every single time he had made such an attempt his father had stepped in. Ark spent years watching one body after another fall before him because of his own soft faults, until finally, he silenced the heart that was never meant to be. It had lain dormant in his battered chest for so many years. He lived content, cold, bloodblind to the world. He stopped loving, stopped caring, became an intangible force. His soul ultimately ceased to exist. Boy was his father proud, he had succeeded in creating his ultimate weapon.
For so many years.
He had nothing. No friends, no lovers, not even family. His father had never been family in his eyes and never would be. So he was and had always been completely and utterly alone. A feeling that the brute wouldn't wish upon his darkest enemy. No soul deserved such torment. To have no purpose in life. To exist without existing. To have known the whisper of love only once, enought to know it exists, but never be able to touch it. And if it weren't for that damn heart of his he would have remained none the wiser. But dormant means dorman; a temporary sleep that can be broken at any time. Vera had destroyed that slumber. Shattered it instantly like a thin sheet of ice. The demon had felt it like a jolt of lightning in his veins. Suddenly he had been able to feel again, he could see the world, see her. Only her. She had been stunning, perfect, vibrant in all the ways he had never believed to exist. Most of all she had been kind. He would never be able to get her out of his anguished head. In the time that had passed since the funerals he would see her here and there. Her mirage tormented him. Silently staring at him, judging him, reminding him that he should have done more. The foreboding giant of a warrior should have done his duty and been there like he had promised.
_____
The one he knew as Zawyne had let out a yelp in response to his question. He tilted his head in confusion, unsure what that was supposed to mean. Instantly he thought she was in danger and his heterochromic orbs darted again across their surroundings before returning to the small fae, just as confused as before. She finally spoke with a sass he hadn't expected before immediately yelping again. The ebony titan tilted his head in response, auds swiveling intently on his head. He wanted to respond to her sass with his own fire. If I had any idea, I wouldn't bother asking. Alas he held his own toungue and patiently waited for her to sort herself out. He could see the emotions changing across her features before she dropped his oceanic gaze and shuffled her miniscule paw around in the dirt. He watched the faint circle form as she finally spoke.
I’m sad because I miss Vera
The name stung his insides like a bladed weapon. A feeling he had never known could exist within him. His stomach twisted and he felt sick. It lasted only a second yet left him feeling immediately drained. This could not go on, he couldn't possibly allow this torment to continue. He was stronger than this, better than this. He wanted to lose himself again, return his heart and soul to the depths where they belonged. They fought too hard to stay though, and he was losing the battle.
...and I’m sad because I miss Fallon, and my parents, and the others. I miss my home… and I’m crying because I can’t cry the rest of the time… I can’t let anyone else see me cry because I’m supposed to be their princess, I am supposed to be strong for them. I’m supposed to bear their grief and troubles, and not the opposite way around.”
The beast wanted to be honest with her. It was a large part of his nature to be a brutally honest prick anyways. But she continued instead to speak, silencing him once more.
“How did… How did you and Vera meet up? I mean… Why did you want to stay with her and protect her?”
Archangel stared at her blankly for a second, flicking his ear and lowering his stealy gaze momentarily. Why did he stay to protect her? He had no idea in the slightest. He had simply been drawn to her, like a magnet. She had changed everything within him in an instant. Once he had pulled her tiny frame from the muck it had been over. That one event had opened up the flood gates of emotion for no reason. He had hoped that one day he would find out. Maybe even his Vera had known the answer somehow.
"I pulled her from the waters of the swamp, she had been clinging to a branch, barely.... All I did was pull her out. I couldn't let her die... I was fascinated by her. Your kind do not exist in my world, there are no small colorful fairy wolves."
He averted his gaze as though ashamed.
"All I had wanted to do was learn what she was, and why these lands are brimming with such strange power. I had intended to leave her in that very spot....."
He shook his head violently and huffed in frustration, sadness and anger. He couldn't find the words, he couldn't find the right answer. There was no answer.
"She made me feel...."
It was all he could say. It was the honest truth though; simple, yet extremely complicated. His gaze found her's again and he searched her face like a pup looking to his mother for all the answers.
"I... am sorry you have lost so much princess. I know not of love, or friendship. But I do know of loss, it torments even the purest.... and darkest... of souls. I have heard that in this world it is okay to cry as you are, here it is not a sign of weakness. Do you know what crying is?"
The titan finally broke his stance and lowered himself to the ground. He layed down carefully in the earth, bringing his gaze to her own level in an uncharacteristic notion of kindness. It looked funny on him. Mismatched irises stared deep into her red and swollen ones.
"Crying is what your body does when it feels any emotion so strongly it has no choice but to let it spill out. I don't think that's a weakness. I think that means you sincerely care, you care so much that your little body can't contain it....and that's pretty incredible where I come from."
This was the most Archangel had spoken in a very long time. He snapped his mouth shut when he was done and sat up rather quickly realizing how open and wordy he had just been. He barely even recognized himself anymore.
To Be Loved, Is To Be Destroyed Male || Vipera || Teen || Lone || Words: 1,277
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