It had been such a lovely scene, being surrounded by her pups within the confines of her den, with Lev at her side, encouraging the emotions that had been running rampant through her heart. But she had been so completely and utterly exhausted when she had professed the things she had to him at the time of the birth of her pups that everything had seem to be a dream. Even at that point, weeks later, she still had been exhausted. And so when Lev instead was the one saying such things, it reminded her with a flash back to the night that her kin had been born, and she remembered everything that she had said and had suddenly felt vulnerable, fragile. And physically, she was. Her birth defect made her perhaps one of the most fragile adults wolves that ever was. She had a decreased stamina and endurance, she was weaker in terms of muscle mass, and any wounds inflicted upon her took even longer to heal. And all of that was fine and dandy indeed, but her mind was sharp and strong. Nimueh hated thinking of herself as week, as fragile, and so the shewolf now resented that she had made such a proclamation while exhausted from birth. It wasn’t that she had spoken any falsehoods - she hadn’t - but still. She was an extrovert to be sure - Nim would talk just about anyone’s ear off, all the while manipulating them to get whatever it was she was secretly looking for. But it was rare that she actually ever let anyone in, that she ever dropped a guard. And so despite the fact that Lev was telling her that they might have a future romantically, all Nimueh could focus on was how claustrophobic she felt. And so she had froze briefly, before getting up and leaving, saying that she needed to relieve herself.

But that was the night that there had been the attack on the pack, the night that Syndicate had taken it over. When Nimueh had teen trees the back upon one of the plateaus she had seen the strange brute abusing a little pup, and have nearly leapt down to save the little one, but Kershov had appeared out of nowhere, and had taken her and her pups to the sea at Uyaraut, or at least had taking the pups that they have been able to grab quickly. And the healer had not seen any of her pack since, not even Lev. It has been somewhat of a mental shock - somehow, for some reason, Syndicate had awoke in her mind a cracked memory, but it was so broken that she could not remember it, could not grasp at it without it fading away into nothingness. She was sure that she had never spoken to him, but something about him… Was familiar. And she could not for the life of her understand what it was, or why seeing him evoked such a strong emotional response from her. At any rate, in Uyaraut the days had turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and before she knew it, she had essentially become a member of the pack by the sea. She had become somewhat of a recluse, had stayed away from the other members, aside from the one named Macaria - that one she found intriguing because of her vampiric nature, something that the Iberian had yet to encounter. But stranger than that, was the irony that a monster such as a vampire had such an interest in healing. She was barely trained, and beyond just the basics, she possessed just enough knowledge to be dangerous, and so Nimueh encouraged her, opened her mind up the possibilities of more aggressive uses of herbs. But other than that, the lass had spent all her time with her pups. Day by day they had grown, week by week they had become stronger. And now, instead of useless pups, they all had their own individual personalities and traits that marked them and allowed them to stand apart from their siblings.

But this was not her home. Sure, Nimueh enjoyed the company of Kershov, but he had been absent, and had hardly spoken a word to her since he had taken her. The only reason he had saved her was to protect his own progeny which just happened to have come from her womb… But since then he had yet to address her at all. And although she was sure that if she tried, she could make this place into her home, she had no desire to do so. She wanted to find a place where she belongs, where the other members would accept her for who she was and exalt her strengths instead of merely overlooking her weaknesses. But more than anything, she wanted to find a place where her and Lev could be reunited. Now this would not mark a substantial change in her. Nimueh had been romantically involved with others in the past. Often her intimate relationships were meant as a way simply to manipulate others… But she had had a few that have gone beyond that. And though she and Lev had never even become intimate, she felt strongly for him in a way that she had not felt toward another in a long time. He made her feel strong, yet also protected as well. It was a delicate balance, given that she was so independent. But she never had to work hard to be comfortable around him… And now she wished that she had never left her den that night, that they had never been pulled apart. And yet at the same time, she knew that despite her feelings for him, she could never be loyal to only him. She was a polygamist by nature, something that was not to change anytime soon. But now it seemed she had no one, instead of many someone’s.

The pups hardly ever needed her now, as they were no longer nursing, and had taken to catching small meals on their own even some small fish from the edge of the ocean by the shore. Many times they would adventure on their own within the packland‘s… She had no fear that they would be all right without her for a few days. Nimueh soon found herself trotting towards the exterior, toward one of the freelands between here and there, hoping to pick up on something, anything that would lead her back to him. Any scent trail that even slightly resembled his caught her attention and had her increasing her gate, however briefly her stamina would allow. It led her down trails and paths, through fields of flowers, down ravines and up mountains. The path from Crith-Thalmhainn to Uyaraut had not seemed to be this long before… But then, she had not been searching for something, but running away from something at that time. And finally, she had ended up back at the dead outside of her pack where that night had occurred. It was not much, but it was still standing. She walked into it without hesitation, could still smell his scent upon the four walls. She could not tell if it was stale, or fresh, but Nimueh did not care. It was a start, it was something.