Romance is in the air...this is probably the most beautiful and scenic place in Blossom Forest. For the athletic and determined to come with their mates, for time away from pups. Only adults may come here; some of the ledges are too far apart for teens or pups to cross and some too high to scale.
IP: 65.29.75.36
Posted on October 18, 2018 at 11:13:17 PM by Kahlan
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‘Sorry to keep you waiting, lovely thing.’ She had not kept me waiting, not really, not a long time at least. Not enough to be a bother, but she was apologizing nonetheless - was she trying to please me already, to soothe my worried looks, to try to keep me placid and complacent? I wish I could say that her enthusiasm is contagious, but it wasn’t. Instead, it has the opposite effect on me, raising my anxiety even more. I regret the decision I made, I regret inviting the strange random male into the space. Not really this physical space, this clearing in the copse of trees, but rather invading her space. I feel like a pimp, whoring her out to my friends, only he is not a friend, and she is not a whore. Perhaps I have called her such many times, but never have I meant it. It has been used by me as a word to pain her, push her away, to keep her distance. She’s polygamous, yes, and gives her love out freely… to a lot of different wolves… but she does not do it to get anything in return other than love itself. And is not that the purest of reasons? But also… Is it not also the most selfish? So then is love itself selfish? I have always thought of it as selfless rather, as having to give all of yourself until you have nothing left. That is what I had always done, back when Sawtooth was still called Sawtooth, back when Moth was still queen and alive, back when I was still a healer. I gave my all until nothing was left, I gave my all until my mind cracked and shattered into one thousand pieces, unable to be fully put back together again. That was why… That was why I had shut myself off. That was why I decided to block out all of my emotions, to prevent love from ever creeping in and destroying me again. I already know I was wrong to do that, that my emotional castration made me weaker than ever and more hurt than ever. But now I wonder too - was my logic also flawed? Her first kissed is light, rushed, carefree. I nearly cried, and would have if I wasn’t still wearing the damn foolish mask upon my face, stoic until the bitter end. It’s not the type of kiss you give to a lover, to a hook up. There’s glimpses in lust there in that kiss, yes, but more than that it is something more simple, like a habit. A habitual action repeated time and time again until it feels natural, something meant to be left for soulmates, for two wolves who have been together for years, who have sired many litters together. And yet here I am, just a few weeks past when I was cussing her out, insulting her, verbally abusing her, and already she has reverted to this, slipped into a routine. How is it so easy for her? And yet here I am, noticing things I normally would not have cared to - is it just me, or has she lost weight? Her eyelids… Are they a little puffy? And her eyes… are they red? Has she been crying? Has she been mourning? Mourning who, or mourning what? Surely it has not been due to the few days of my absence… I shake my head and let loose a small laugh, I am not naïve enough to think that it could be that. But what? A twinge, a spark, and suddenly my curiosity is aflame, and yet I wanted to know what is tormenting her so, and why she was trying so hard to hide it. But then I just shake my head again, this time I scoff, pulling away from her kisses - I know why she is not divulging anything - because this is exactly what I told her I wanted. To have sex just to have sex, for there to be no emotions or attachments, not even as friends. She is trying so hard to play by my rules despite the fact that she herself is hurting, and I see how wrong I’ve been yet again - in my desire to protect myself, I have hurt everyone else. She is persistent though, and kisses at my cheek, my face, my neck, and questions whether this is private enough and if I want her to pleasure me as I pleasured her last time. How will she react when I tell her that it will not just be me? Her kisses are like sweet honey after being starved for a few days - enough to wet my lips and tempt my stomach, but not enough to fill me nor sate the lustful hunger deep within me. A growl, but not as a threat, but because I am trying to hold back my instincts. I want to cave to her, collapse within her embrace, but not yet. Again, I pull away. My words are soft, concerned, and I nearly jumped from the sound of my own voice - I forgot what it was to be concerned about another, and what exactly it sounded like. “What is wrong, Kirastasia? You are trying so hard to be peppy and bright and shiny, but I know you too well to not see it. Perhaps it has been a long time since we have lived together, but surely you did not think that you could hide this? What is bothering you? Is it because Wudubearo is no more? Do you miss the sanctity of a pack that much?” I wait until she responds, and whether she tells me the truth or brushes off my questions, I press my nose into her shoulder, to comfort her. But even that is a mistake, for my nares taste her perfume and it sends me into a frenzy. I placed a few kisses there, insistent, full of need, hot against the chill of her flesh. I trail kisses across her neck, following the gentle curve of her jugular furrow until I am tracing her jaw line, and then the curve of her lips, tiny sweet kisses against the parted line. But then a sound pulls my attention - the approach of another, and there is only one wolf that it can be. Unless fate has a strange way of throwing a coincidence in here, at this moment, and in this exact place, it must be the brute to whom we shall be mated to. Yes, we, for it shall be both of us. This is meant to show her that I have no commitment to her, and that she is not expected to have any for me, but already jealousy is boiling in my veins. I cease my intimate caresses and take a step back, my gaze searching hers, hoping to find understanding, but I know I only have a few seconds before he shows up, and there’s not enough time to explain. The part of my mind that is still walled off begins to argue ‘why should I have to explain anything?’… But already my tongue is running itself away. “Kirastasia… You are not the only one I invited here. There is another… To be honest a complete stranger to me. But it is their full intention to join our fuck session. Not watch… Participate. And I told him we would both be glad to have him. If you do not want it, then you can leave, and quickly, but he will have me one way or another, with or without you.” |
Replies:
- h e a r t . t h r o b [M] - By k i r a s t a s i a October 21, 2018 at 03:25:47 PM
"HE WHO IS HANDSOME" [M] - By INGMAR October 21, 2018 at 04:43:35 PM
im just a puzzle missing a few pieces [m] - By Kahlan October 23, 2018 at 03:19:11 PM
h e a r t . t h r o b [M] - By k i r a s t a s i a October 25, 2018 at 00:05:31 AM
im just a puzzle missing a few pieces [ m ] - By Kahlan November 1, 2018 at 11:40:21 PM
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