Evren knows her child. She knows that Han shares her adventurous spirit, and she can remember how excited they had been at the prospect of finally seeing her childhood home (though whether that had been because Han was interested in their family history or because they were curious about seeing their first desert, Evren cannot say). She is also perfectly aware of Han’s tendency to withdraw within themselves when they are in the presence of others, and of their tendency to experience the worst of their dysphoria when they are anxious. But what she sees before her is different. Han’s eyes are slightly glazed over, and something about their stance is so feeble, like a flower with a broken stem ready to fall over in the slightest breeze. What she sees is more than nerves or exhaustion.
Persephone’s voice brings her back to the present, and with a pang of guilt in her gut, Evren forces herself to give the mare her full attention. She has been so focused on Han that she keeps almost forgetting that her friend is there. At first Persephone’s reassurance brings a small, grateful smile to her lips; then her surprisingly poignant words of wisdom cause Evren’s face to become solemn. Her eyes flit to Han, but their face is unchanging, their tired eyes waiting for her to make the call. It’s all on her.
She takes a moment to look around at their surroundings, at the golden landscape both barren and beautiful, so full of memories, of hope, of pain. Now that she is here, Evren knows how ridiculous she had been to turn back at the last moment out of fear. Yet she is still unsettled. Something still doesn’t feel right. Her home is haunted by ghosts of the past, and though part of her screams at her to stay and fight to make the desert a happy place again, another part of her wants nothing more than to leave now and never come back.
Evren closes her eyes against the light of the setting sun. She is tired, so very tired, and she knows Han is tired too. What she does not know is if either of them have the energy for yet another long swim. The most logical thing to do is to stay here overnight and rest, then leave in the morning. But in her mind’s eye, Evren can still see the blood on her hooves, and she knows she will not be able to sleep a wink if they stay here. Knowing Han, they likely will not either.
When she opens her eyes again, Evren exchanges a long, meaningful look with Han, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Then she turns to Persephone.
“Let’s get out of here.”
7; mutt; bay tobiano; 15.3hh
|
|