In Lilli’s youth, there had been many perfect, lazy days with Elena by their favorite bend in the stream within Murmuring Rivers. The crimson filly had loved it for all the wild flowers that grew there and Elena seemed to appreciate the seclusion it provided, the moments it gave them away from prying eyes and ears. Not that the eyes or ears were overly prying in the land of many rivers but it was nice to for the special privacy it offered, a little kingdom of their own making. Lilli would prattle on about silly things, happy things, things that only a young child can conjure. Fairy tales, noble knights, castles in the clouds..
Elena was the rock that kept Lilli from floating away. While Lilli might have spent her entire youth with her head in the heavens, it was Elena who called her back time and time again. Elena had made her father, Valerio, real when he had been an absent figure in her youth. She had offered realism to family members who faces she never saw, only knowing the names that were so often spoken and obviously dearly missed. Where Lilli could have spent a whole day daydreaming, it would be Elena to challenge her to see what was on the other side of the river, of the next one and one after that until the fillies tested the very boundaries of Murmuring Rivers.
So when Culloden had fallen and Broch disappeared, while Malachi talked in hushed tones with Kalina and the family band had made it ways back to the mountains where Aletta and her sister Aphria dwelled, it was Elena who had proposed the Falls. The two mares had fallen back into the ways of their childhood with one never being without the other. Lilli had developed an even stronger attachment to her cousin (however that is possible) and was never far from the beautiful golden mare. There was something about the way Lilli watched her cousin, those blue eyes becoming slightly nervous whenever Elena was out of her sight. When Elena had first mentioned the sacred place of healers, Lilli had almost declined. How could she be separated from Malachi? From her nieces and nephews? They ought to stay together, to find a place that would take them all in and.. start again.
Could she do that? Could she bear another home that wasn’t a home? Another place that came and went like a changing season? She had thought of Murmuring Rivers and Paraiso and Culloden. She had thought of her father with his scars and her mother, still so fresh in grief for Brynn. She thought of Broch and all those moments.. all those wasted moments. And suddenly starting again, starting over in another herd felt like she was betraying all of them. And there was something in Lilli that didn’t want to try again. After all, wasn’t insanity repeating the same actions over and over again hoping to yield a different result?
So, somehow and with some borrowed bravery from Elena, Lilli had told Malachi that she wouldn’t be going with him. He had been angry. That famous thundercloud temper that she had seen so often flared at Brielle suddenly came down on her. Malachi had tried to forbid it. He tried to tell her that it was the shock and she only needed time to reconsider. Her silver brother kept trying to explain her rash decision and with each reason he gave, her heart softened against his anger. She smiled softly, blue eyes looking into his dark ones and she let him rage. And suddenly, like a passing summer storm, his rage was gone. He apologized. He had failed her, he said. He had only wanted to protect her, like he had promised their father he would. And Lilli had embraced him, whispering that Malachi had been the best protector she could have asked for. She whispered to him that she needed something of her own. If love and children weren’t in her future, she needed something.
Lilliana told Malachi of some of her hopes. She told him of the plans that she and Elena had made, how she hoped that Orani and precious Jacob would come as well. She told him that Aerwir would be coming and how they would be safe, how the Quartz Falls might be able to offer her some solace. In the end, he understood. Malachi always understands and always accepts, understanding this young sister is no longer a filly that needs sheltering. She needed a chance to live her own life.
It has taken some time. Quartz Falls still doesn’t feel like home. But then, what place has? She has acquainted herself with the landscape, taking time to get to know it. She tries not to compare it to Culloden or any other place she has known – she views this place with new eyes. The chestnut mare steps forward from the trees, her blue eyes still somewhat anxious. Where Elena has gone, she doesn’t know. It makes her shy from a flapping branch, an inanimate object given life through the blustery, winter wind. It tangles her cascading mane, turning it into a wild thing. She shifts her weight as she pushes away from the branch, moving over to the right and she flies into the unforgiving, brisk sunshine. It’s a twig, she thinks foolishly. And in a moment of rare temper, the chestnut kicks up her back legs to the tree, letting it know her frustration.. at herself.
She arches her neck and trots away from the trees, hoping that none have seen the rather foolish display. If she hopes to ever make a name for herself here, if she ever hopes to ever be anything than a silly young mare, this wasn’t the way to start. Ichiro the Fierce. Valerio the Brave. Lilliana.. the Thoughtless? The Obtuse? The Witless? She moves forward, her head dropping slightly as she thinks of the kings and warriors that she carries in her blood, the queens and knights. And here she was, hoping to heal when the slightest shiver of a branch made her heart race.
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