i'm in trouble 'cause a look never hurt this much
The longer she stood upon this shore, and the more she learned about this wild and unknown territory, the more eager Tigerlily became to explore it. Björn said that it had been uninhabited when he’d arrived, and the young mare wondered why its previous caretaker had left. By now, she knew that no land was without its dangers and hardships. Perhaps that was why this Liland had forsaken these lands?
With a gentle snort, Tigerlily clears her head and reins herself in, listening to Björn as he now speaks of a life beyond these Islands in the sea. He speaks of his brothers, and then his words fail him. Guilt and anger both stab at her own heart, as she thinks of her own brothers. The mare leans into Björn’s side for a few moments, hoping to reassure, and remind him that he isn’t alone. Warriors. Of course. Tigerlily had already gathered that he was a fighter. Unlike Tigerlily, whose scars were all internal, Björn carried his story on his skin – or part of it at least.
Tigerlily relaxes at Björn’s touch, allowing him to allay her fears and soothe her concern. A recollection from the early hours of the morning comes to her, words that the grullo King had spoken to her, his deep voice sinking through her skin, reaching her very heart.
You let me worry ‘bout me, and you… Heat rises in her face, and she suddenly feels shy and tucks her muzzle neatly beneath his for a brief moment, unable to meet his gaze, lest her eyes give away the turmoil that stirs within her anew. There were others that lived here, and though Tigerlily was glad that Björn hadn’t been alone, a sudden prickle of jealousy stings her like a nettle leaf. She flicks her tail, shoving the thought to the back of her mind.
Soon, he had said, not
now. It would just be the two of them for a little while longer.
And then he leads her into the jungle that seems to hum with a life all of its own, and all of her doubts, insecurities and concerns drift away on the mild breeze. Tigerlily’s eyes are wide and shining as she takes it all in, gaze trailing up the long vines that hang down from the trees that tower over them, blocking out the sun and casting a cool green light upon them. There comes the sound of running water from somewhere out of sight and as Tigerlily pushes through vines, her soft muzzle brushing at Björn’s hip, the closeness of the trees gives way to a large covered clearing. The air is moist, and the gentle rush of the cascading water fills the hidden glade, weaving a never ending tune, that instantly calms the buckskin mare.
“Oh Björn,” she whispers, breath hitching in her throat.
“It’s so beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like this.” A smile stretches across Tigerlily’s muzzle as she steps away from him and turns in a small circle, taking it all in. Her face lights up, and her eyes brighten with wonder as she examines the canopy sheltering them far overhead. The burble of the water running over rocks, barely audible beneath the hiss of the waterfall, draws her attention next, and she lowers her muzzle to the cool liquid, taking in a few refreshing mouthfuls.
Ears swivel at the sound of the stallion’s familiar voice, and Tigerlily lifts her head and looks to him, water dripping from her muzzle as she meets his blue gaze and considers his words. There was so much ugliness in her past, and though she would not keep it from Björn forever, this was not the right time, nor the right place for that conversation. And so, Tigerlily treads lightly among her memories, seeking to give more of herself to her King; the parts of her that are not so broken, and still beautiful.
“My brothers… They’re on the Mainland too,” Lily begins hesitantly, because her heart was wild and felt too much about all things.
“I did not want to leave, and they would not stay. A… friend of my mother, he will not leave the islands either, so I haven’t been alone.” Tigerlily trails off, dropping her gaze for a moment, fighting off a wave of sadness. Being alone and being lonely were not dependent upon one another, not by any means. Some of the nights she’d spent beside Dances With Wolves had been the loneliest in her life.
“I’ve felt so lost, been so angry for a long time now. And I’m so tired of living like that, Björn,” she murmurs, moving closer to the stallion, seeking his comforting touch.
“Maybe here, with you, I might have a chance at happiness, if I’m found deserving of a blessed life.”
As Tigerlily settles down beside him, her eyes wander again, and joy returns to her again, settling upon her face in a smaller, graceful grin that does not fade.
“I’m sorry,” she says softly, apologising for it had not been her intention to fill this green cathedral of his with her sorrow. But then she turns to meet his gaze, her eyes warm and hopeful, emboldened by a simple and profound truth.
“I feel safe with you.” The words are heavy, dripping with the myriad of emotions that cause Tigerlily’s throat to tighten and spread across her pale hide, burning like embers.
“And I can’t explain it, but already, you mean so much to me.” Her breathing becomes uneven again, and she lifts her head, draping herself across Björn’s neck, gently pulling him closer to her if he’d allow it.
“If only we found one another sooner, how different things might’ve been.” Tigerlily falls silent then, focussing on Björn’s, matching her breathing to his, and silently fighting off the resentment, bitterness and hurt she felt towards the stallion who’d always failed to give her what she needed. Tigerlily drew in a deep breath, and steadied herself. Dances With Wolves had made his choice, and Tigerlily made hers now.
“Björn,” she begins, her voice clearer and stronger than before.
“This place feels like more a home than any other place I’ve been, and I want to be with you always.” Once again, the buckskin and white mare draws back, and her eyes soften in her pale face. She presses a tender, featherlight kiss to the scars that mark his muzzle.
“I am Tígrisdýr, and I am ready to heal.”
T I G E R L I L Y
i got it bad, and you’re my blue heaven midnight crush