Tor hadn't necessarily expected his attempt to do as she asked to go well - in fact, he couldn't be surprised that the landmine he'd gingerly stepped on had gone off. What he hadn't expected was the way her comments hurt - or the growing anger in his chest. He couldn't judge her family - okay, but that didn't mean she could judge his family, or him. So what if they lived in a castle, if they had money. Did that make them any less human? Torram's own expression hardened slightly, his own eyes narrowing as they met hers.

He let her say her piece - there wasn't much he could do to interrupt if he'd wanted to - and when she was finally done he gently removed her hands from where they were digging into his shoulders. When he spoke his voice was very calm, very steady, but with a sharper edge than he could recall ever using with her before.

"Perhaps you're right, I shouldn't judge. But we're married and marriage means your family is my family and mine is yours. It's not you or me - it's us. And more than that," his voice had raised a little at that, and he paused a breath to regain control before speaking again in a steady, firm voice. It was a voice most of the Destra's would realize meant Tor was Big Mad. "More than that, you know nothing about my family and what we went through. I may not know much of anything about your world, but you don't have a fucking clue about mine either. You think because we had money, and status, it made life a breeze? I won't compare our lives, and I won't deny that I absolutely had perks. But Falverin don't give a fuck if you're noble or commoner - they'll still rip you apart and eat you all the same! Money doesn't mean shit during a seige, does nothing against assassination or illness. You think I wouldn't have given all the money in the world to bring my baby sister back?!"

His own words, spoken in a louder tone than he'd intended, reminded him of old hurts and his expression shifted for a brief moment from anger and annoyance to pain before he jerked his head dismissively, he didn't want to think about those things right now. He sucked in a breath. He hadn't told Sapphy much of the darker sides of what he'd been through - his sister's slow decline, his arrival to Shaman. He couldn't hold it against her, couldn't expect her to just magically know, but... was that really all she saw him as? Some rich and sheltered idiot who'd never had a bad day? That hurt. Sometimes he felt like he was the only one with feelings in the relationship, the only one who wanted them to be closer, to be a family together. He tried to ignore it, to reason with himself, but when she drew the line so sharply between them... He shifted away from her, a part of him wanting to get away, to leave the room before he said something he'd really regret, but the word came out anyways.

"I don't want 'beef' with you, I just want you I'm only fucking human no matter what money I had or where I lived. You want me to be more honest, well, there you go."




my father told me when I was just a child
these are the nights that never die