The painted stallion simply stared for a moment, almost unwilling to believe his eyes. He had been deceived many times before by visions and dreams of the dark mare. Here and now Dances With Wolves was afraid to hope, for his heart could not bear any more despair, bruised and broken as it was. He reactively shrank in on himself as the apparition before him tensed and prepared to strike, scared even by the phantom memory that hounded him. But the illusion seemed to freeze and linger, and the bay tobiano male began to turn his blue eyes away. But then she spoke, and his cowardly heart within his chest stuttered in disbelief. Dances? The stallion’s eyes widened, and his breath caught in his throat. It really was her.

He’d spoken to apparitions of Rowena many times since he’d turned his back on her. Most of the time, Dances sought forgiveness from the mare, told her how much he’d missed her. On the good days, he spoke softly of Echo, and how beautiful she was, how courageous. His whispered words were often sad, but always they were spoken in love. Dances With Wolves was a bit of an enigma in that, at his very core, he was a coward, and self-preservation would always win out… But something ran even deeper than his lack of courage, something was able to persist despite the fear that ruled him. And that was love. Dances formed attachments easily when he was at his most vulnerable, and once an individual found a place in his heart, they stayed with him forever.

It was in this way that Dances loved Rowena; not with nostalgia as he did Zaida and Jokulros, or in a melancholic way as he did Tolinka and Silvanus. There was no trace of the regret that would forever tinge the love he felt for Sai and Nephilim, and even Tigerlily. With Rowena, from the very beginning, there had been a desire to comfort and protect. Time, absence and the fear of the unknown… The uncertainty of whether they’d ever be together again had coloured the love he felt for the mare before him now with a fierceness that had sustained him these past years, and had given him the strength to be there for Echo. He still hadn’t been enough, though, but regret was evicted from him for the briefest of moments, and Dances was filled with unadulterated joy. Rowena was really, truly here. She had returned to him.

For the first time in his living memory Dances With Wolves felt free of fear, of doubt, of guilt. His heart thudded in his chest, and there was a roar like that of a lion’s in his ears. It was as fierce as ever; this love he’d felt for Rowena ever since they’d first met in the meadow on a dark night, all those years ago. He’d been lost in grief, and so had she, and somehow, they’d found one another in all that darkness and despair. Dances With Wolves had sensed that Rowena had needed someone, and her presence had given Dances a reason not to give up. I love you, I love you. All this time… And I always will.

But the words never had a chance to form themselves on his tongue. They withered, and he felt for a moment as though he were choking. Rowena had changed her mind, and instead of drawing closer, had backed up and turned away from him, as if she couldn’t bear the sight of him. The courage Dances had felt for a shining, golden moment, grew cold, and he considered retreating back into the cave, to seek solace in the embrace of one who had no choice but to rely on him. However, despite what the mind of the spineless stallion urged, his quivering heart held fast, and he gave no ground.

There was a sudden sense of de ja vu, so strong and yet so distant, that demanded Dances’ attention. It was like he’d been here before… But, instead of the saltiness of the sea, the faded memory was heavy with the scent of earth. It was dark, and quiet, and the shadows had been moving… There had been a soul, as lost and lonely as his. And instead of running, Dances With Wolves had stayed, and he had put his muzzle to the ear of a stranger, and tried his best to comfort her. “You’re not alone,” he’d murmured softly.

The salty scent grew stronger, and drew him out of his reverie. Dances realised that Rowena was crying, and the fierce love and deep empathy he felt for her still caused his own eyes to well with tears. Oh, what had he done… If only he’d gone with her… It was so intense, the fear he felt now – fear that she had been lonely since the day they’d parted ways – that it caused him physical pain, prickling his skin and stabbing at his chest. “No, Rowena, don’t,” he managed to whisper brokenly, lowering his head and slowly approaching. Gently, so gently he reached for her muzzle, seeking to brush away her tears even as tears trickled down his own face, contorted in pain.

“Please,” Dances begged, trying to guide her back to him. “You don’t need to hide anything, not from me.” A moment’s silence, and Dances yearned to embrace her, drew closer still and would quietly persist if she turned away again, or pulled back. “Not your tears, or your fears, or sadness, weakness, pain. Not even any guilt you may harbour, for heaven knows I am guilty, and my regrets are enough to drown me.” Dances shifted, angling his head so that he could catch her eye, and waited until she looked at him, coaxing her softly. “I need you to know something very important,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry that I never said it before, but I love you. I’ve loved you from the beginning. I love you still and nothing can change that.”

It was callous of him, perhaps, to seemingly have put Echo out of his mind so quickly. But this was the way of things – everything he felt for Rowena crowded out all else for now, and Dances With Wolves had all but forgotten about their daughter, cowering in the cavern behind him. Minutes earlier, he had almost fled to her side. But Dances With Wolves could not leave Rowena now. Just as he had in the meadow, all those years ago, he stayed with her, brushed his whiskered muzzle at her ear, and whispered words that he desperately hoped would bring some comfort, and reassure the black mare, whom he loved, that despite everything that had changed, some things never would. Once upon a time, it had been a stranger he’d sought to comfort, but now, it was one that he loved deeply, and with his whole, craven heart. “Forgive me, Rowena, for all the times I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone. But I’m here now. I’m with you, you’re not alone.”