Zjeena labors to drag herself ashore. Her body is so heavy. It weighs with gallons of sea water soaked into the thickness of her winter coat. It weighs with the roundness of her pregnant belly, and the fullness of her udders. It weighs with the heaviness of her heart. Leaving The Bay, her herd, and her children behind was the most difficult decision Zjeena has ever had to make. The weight of such a decision is physically crushing her.
Her legs tremble. A tightness in her chest leaves her gasping for air.
The little mare, normally so sure footed, stumbles on the rocks. She scrambles to catch herself, hurtling towards the treeline in way that is both devastatingly clumsy, and way out of character. When Zjeena finds her footing, she is standing near the trail that will lead her to the heart of Paradise, to a place she should now call home.
Glass eyes stare down the darkened path but her feet refuse to move. For a moment all is quiet, except the wheezing in her chest, and the steady drips of water falling from her sodden coat.
Since Zjeena left the coven two years ago, she had been Queen of the Bay. Much of it was spent in the Desert, or in Paradise, but she always knew where she belonged. She wore her loyalty like a badge of honor. Her position was much more than a title; it was her identity.
Not anymore.
Zjeena is queen of nothing now, not even of her own body. She will remain a slave to Liland's greed for the next year and a half at least. Though her feet may take her away from him now, she is bound to return. In this time she can have no identity. She cannot truly be a part of Rougaru's herd, nor is she a part of Liland's. She is the little mare of nowhere. No, she is less than that. She is Liland's plaything. She is the fly on his steaming pile of dung. She is the mud caught in his hoof. She is spit in the wind.
And this is not was grieves her most. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees Nattergal and Havelle. She would give up everything she ever was to have them here with her. Her thoughts linger for just a moment too long on her children, so cruelly stolen from her, and she is overtaken by a sudden and overwhelming wave of grief. Gasping breaths turn into gasping sobs. She must lean on the nearest tree for support, as every sadness escapes her.