GawaiN

It was a relief to see her smile.

“Good!” he said, smiling back, “great!” He hesitated briefly and then gestured her down the corridor. “Shall we?”

Tea was safe ground. He always had a plentiful supply and it gave you something to do with your hands. Awkward pauses could be disguised by a teaspoon, or taking a sip, or helping yourself to more milk.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t any tea in the corridors, but mercifully they also didn’t have very far to go.

Gawain jumped in front of her to open the door and hurried in after her to put the kettle onto boil.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he said, removing a stack of papers from one of the armchairs, and moving it to the desk pushed up against the opposite wall. Grabbing his tea pot and two glass tea cups he crossed to the side table by the window and retrieved two English breakfast tea bags.

When the tea was ready, Gawain handed Thea her cup first and then settled himself in the armchair opposite her with his own, and held it as it cooled.

He sighed when she prompted him.

“I was waffling, you mean,” he said with another sheepish smile. He shook his head. “And I think I was making excuses anyway. And there aren’t any really, not for how I’ve been since... since we met.”

His smile became more apologetic.

“I don’t...I never...I don’t make a habit of not talking to women after we...I like to be straight with people, and I like to make sure everyone’s on the same page, and I like to be open, and I don’t think I’ve been any of those things with you, and I’m sorry.”

Gawain glanced across at her, meeting her eye, his expression imploring.

“And I am so sorry if I seemed like I lied to you...if I did lie to you. It was never my intention. Guy never felt like a lie until I came back here. And then I met you again, and I saw what you mean to my brother, and he felt like the biggest lie of my life.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, balancing his cup on his knee with his other hand. One of the few mannerisms he shared with his brother and grandfather.

“Can you forgive me?” he asked her at last, “for making a total arse of myself?”