Even as she surrendered to the overpowering force of her joy, Iris was braced for the very real possibility that it would not be shared. That the warm press of her muzzle against the dark skin of the Vulcan would be rebuffed by the familiar stiffening of her body, as had so often been the case in their past. Instead, the spotted mare was taken aback by the unexpected warmth of Adelheid’s greeting— by the fervor with which the Codebreaker pressed herself into the warm curve of Iris’s neck. By the elation that seemed to echo her own. And while the moment was brief— scarcely long enough for her to draw a shaky, shuddering breath— Iris knew that she would treasure the memory of it for far longer. Not since she’d drifted off with Eve to the soft, lulling hum of the Falls had the blanketed woman felt so, so…

…so complete.

Only a couple heartbeats later, the familiar pattern of their interactions reasserted itself in the way that Adelheid jerked abruptly away, in the flattening of her ears. But Iris clung to the seconds of warmth that they’d shared, holding them within her still-thrumming heart like a talisman to ward off her despair. Standing placidly against the roiling tempest of her companion’s emotions, she recognized the artifice of the black mare’s anger— and trusted in the truth of that first impulsive embrace.

You stayed? Having hiccuped her sobs into silence, the seal-brown mare cupped her ears forward to catch the syllables that the other woman spoke like the precious commodity that they were. Why? Beneath the sharpness of the Codebreaker’s voice, she thought she detected a note of wonder; a note of something softer. If she could only be certain of what she’d heard, she would close the distance that had opened between their bodies without hesitation— but the last thing that Iris wanted was to claim something that wasn’t freely given. So instead, she lifted the deep brown of her eyes to hold Adelheid’s gaze without flitting away from the intensity of their scrutiny as she’d done so many times before. Instead, she focused on the heat that pooled in her belly, and sought to the words to express this inexplicable thing that she felt.

“I stayed because—” —where else would I go? she might have said a season ago, before she’d known how empty life could be without the fierce, frustrating creature who somehow commanded her heart. If facing a lifetime of the Friesian-blooded woman’s absence hadn’t been more terrifying than the prospect of sharing the truth. “—because of you. I stayed because I hoped that I...that we…” It was the mahogany mare’s turn to twist her ears backwards now, to chew on the tongue that held so many tangled, inexpressible words. Everything that she could have said either felt like too much or not enough. Like the bond that she shared with the shadow-colored Vulcan, there was no middle ground between apathy and passion.

But perhaps she didn’t have to speak.

Warily at first— but her boldness growing with each small step that brought her closer to the warmth of Adelheid’s skin— the spotted woman moved forward. It took a couple seconds, this way, for the distance between them to be breached. But as soon as she was able, Iris ran her muzzle along the arch of her companion’s neck and into the gentle curve of her withers. From there, she might’ve gone even further if her courage was greater— tracing the ridged contours of the Codebreaker’s spine— but instead, the dark brown mare contented herself with resting her chin on the broad plane of Adelheid’s back. From there, the Vulcan could easily dislodge her by sidestepping or giving her body a vigorous shake, but Iris did not think that she would.

For the first time in forever, she dared to dream that she might find happiness— even if it was only fleeting.